Just a little longer.

Grey days

Been a while since I wrote in this book. I missed you, dear.

Did you miss me? Probably not. You were probably still reading the last chapters. I know you miss me between chapters.

I wasn't feeling so well. Didn't want to get out of bed. Don't worry. I was not sick. Maybe just sick of this world. Don't worry. I forgive the world because it has you.

Just one of these days where you see everything grey. Where things don't smell the same. This feeling is so uncomfortable and most of the time you can't do anything. It'll just pass. It lasts a few hours or a day and it passes after a good night's sleep. But it didn't. It was an entire week this time. Felt like a whole month. We shouldn't be this kind of tired at our age. Like if everyday was a mountain.

Nothing bad or serious happened, just feeling a bit lonely I think. Just need a hug maybe. Too much loneliness. I didn't have news from my mom in a while. The same on my friends' side. We're all busy. We are growing. I understand.

Some nights, the bravest thing we can do is continue to exist.

I didn't eat much. I live alone. I don't know if I already told you. So since I didn't have the energy to do something to eat, I didn't. I ate cereals and toasts. I drank a lot of chocolate milk because it comforts me. We all have one or a few foods that make us feel good, right? For me it's chocolate milk and my father's sugar pie. I have the recipe but it doesn't taste the same. Maybe it's the little touch of love he put in that is missing.

I tried to clear my mind, but there wasn't much that was working. The only thing that has managed to add some colour to my days is reading. It took me so much energy at first but it was okay after some days.

I wanted to write but I didn't know what to say. It gave me time to have more ideas. I have so many things I want to write in there. For you to read. To have more time with you.