Harsh

Chapter 2

The entry to the hospital was the same as it had always been. Faulty sliding door that seemed to be more stuck than it was unstuck, the eerily empty waiting room and they quiet squeak of nurse’s ugly white shoes.  I turned to the plastic covered bench waiting for Andy to capture the attention of the nurse at the information desk.  It was only a matter of time before Mom was paged to us. 

 I waited in the silence, tuning out any sounds that should have been processed but I couldn’t make myself care. The linoleum floor seemed particularly interesting. Pink dot followed by a blue square, surrounded by dirty white. Then a pink dot with a blue square. Then a pink dot and a blue square. Then a pink dot and a brown smudge. My hand tightened around the lighter in my pocket. Couldn’t anyone clean around here? They should have better janitors. Nobody wanted to see imperfections, especially in a public place.

 My eyes continued to follow the floor pattern and I picked out every flaw that it contained. I was only interrupted by the groan of the plastic chair beside me when Andy joined me.

 “Mandy said she would page Mom but to not expect her for at least another hour, she’s in surgery.” Andy spoke quietly trying to not disturb the peace that was hanging in the air. For an hour we sat there, Andy on his phone and I stroking the plastic of the lighter, following the floor pattern. Nobody bothered us and we ignored everyone else.

 Pink, Blue, Pink, Blue, Pink, Black.  The unmistakable black of my Mom’s shoes entered my vision and instantaneously, Andy jumped up to hug her.

 “What are my wonderful children doing here on such a fine evening?” She asked pulling her dull blonde hair out of a hair net and retying her ponytail. Andy grimaced and kept his arm on her shoulder.

 “Mom, we saw something on the news.” She looked up at him, her usually bright green eyes tired and weak. Her petite stature made her crane her neck to look at Andy’s face. She raised her eyebrows slightly waiting for an answer.

 “Harold died. His house started on fire and he was found dead on scene.” Mom pulled away from Andy’s shoulder and threw her hands over her mouth. Shaking her head she continually took little steps backwards until a coffee table stopped her from moving any farther away from us.   “He’s gone, Mom. I know you loved him but he’s gone.” A lone tear fell down her face and I could have snorted at her reaction. Of course she would cry. She was much more a child than I was. 

 I couldn’t help but grow angry at her behavior. She should be celebrating with me that he was gone and he couldn’t hurt anyone any more. She shouldn’t be selfish and think of herself at a time like this. It was better that he was dead. He was dangerous and he ruined me. He ruined everything. Death was what he deserved.

 The tears began to well up in her eyes and before a second could pass the first leaked down her face. She didn’t understand anything if she thought that she should be mourning Harold’s death.  He was a monster and should be forgotten immediately.

 “Oh, Laura. I’m so sorry.” Mom came towards me and trying to fling her arms around my body. “I know how much you loved Harold and how horribly our break up affected you. How are you dealing with his death?” I sidestepped her arms leaving them hanging awkwardly in the air. She withdrew from me and wrapped her arms around herself as though my rejection was even harder than Harold’s death.

 I couldn’t believe her. She really had no idea what I went through everyday with Harold during her ten-month relationship with him. Love had nothing to do with what I felt for Harold. Hatred was more the word I would use.  I was happy that he was dead.  For every minute he burned my skin was an hour he would be tortured in Hell.