summer nights, meeting zotto

chapter 39, old feelings same past

october 19th 11:36 am (the same time were the last chapter ended)

I got into my shower and cried. i felt so stupid. no matter what i do i can't stop thinking about him. i want to be with him. but i just can't, not if he keeps doing the things he's been doing. i got on my phone as i was taking a shower. i wanted to listen to music. i saw that i was tagged in a song like 50 times. 'drivers license' by olivia rodrigo. i had heard a clip from the song before. she was kind of my idol to be honest. her voice is amazing. i played the song on the speaker in my bathroom.

"I got my driver's license last week

Just like we always talked about
'Cause you were so excited for me
To finally drive up to your house
But today I drove through the suburbs
Crying 'cause you weren't aroundAnd you're probably with that blonde girl
Who always made me doubt
She's so much older than me
She's everything I'm insecure about
Yeah, today I drove through the suburbs
'Cause how could I ever love someone else?And I know we weren't perfect, but I've never felt this way for no one
And I just can't imagine how you could be so okay now that I'm gone
Guess you didn't mean what you wrote in that song about me
'Cause you said forever, now I drive alone past your street "

i cried a lot more. i put the song on repeat and analyzed the lyrics. i related to so much in it. i reposted the song on my instagram and i tagged her. she later reposted it. my fan base was also attacking me for not posting on any socials. i texted louis to ask him if i could post the photos of us from paris.

y/n: hey louis?

louis: hey y/n. how's la?

y/n: stressful. can i post the pictures of us from the Eiffel tower?

louis: idk y/n. i don't want to be attacked by your fans, i looked u up. they're crazy.

y/n: okay. i just thought we looked cute.

louis: i'm not disagreeing, but it'll make ur ex mad so im down.

y/n: louis i don't care how he feels and neither should u, im uploading the photo.

liked by bellacarter00 and 469,895 others

y/n.so.slick: paris was cool

zotto.y/n.bby: is that alessio?

daddyzotto: bye she broke his heart

y/n.so.slick: nah he broke mine.

devenity: as you should queen <3

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i know i shouldn't have done that but i don't care louis is cool. even though we didn't even do anything, he's a good friend. i decided to get ready for the day. i wanted to film a youtube video.

i put on this outfit (or something simillar)

i decided i'd film a video of me trying on clothes that i was sent. i turned on my camera and sat on the floor. i filmed my intro. then alessio walked in. he looked so pissed.

alessio: what the fuck y/n?

y/n: hm?

i didn't pay much attention to him.

alessio: who. the. fuck. is. that.

he said to me showing me the photo i had posted with louis on instagram.

y/n: that's louis.

he scoffed and ran his fingers through his hair. he laughed.

alessio: oh louis. fucking louis. i bet u fucked him. i-i cant believe this shit. you're out fucking some guy in paris while all i do is think about you.

y/n: i didn't fuck him.

alessio: now your lying right to my face? I SHOULD'VE KNOWN! this whole time i'm thinking about you and u met a whole other guy. nah i should've known you're like every other bitch. nothing special.

he left and slammed my door behind him.

at this point, i don't even care. he can think what he wants. he's gonna regret what he just said though. once he realizes i was telling the truth. kenzie, dev, and bella all came into my room. "are you okay? we heard yelling." kenzie said. "did he touch? i kill him." dev said. i laughed at what dev said. i wiped away the tear that had fallen from my eye. i sighed. "i don't know what to do anymore guys." i said to my girls. they hugged me. "we'll always be here for you." bella said.

i smiled at her. "wait so what happened?" kenzie said. i told them everything. they were in shock. "i say fuck him." dev said. "wait not literally." she said after. we all laughed. "idk what to do. i'm still in love with him. but he makes me so mad. so i don't even know if i can be with him." i said. "i think u should either try to put the past behind u and forgive him. or just move on completely." kenzie said. "i agree. but either way it's your choice." bella said. dev nodded and agreed. "even though what he just said to you was completely uncalled for. i think he'd be mad lucky if you even talked to him again." dev said. "yeah but i know he was just mad i posted that picture with louis." i said to them. i already told them everything about him. we just gossiped and they helped me film my youtube video. i then spent hours editing it. then i was thinking. alessios birthday was in four days. i wondered about what the hell was next to come.

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what's next for u and alessio?

ik this chapter is kind of short but i wanted to post. i'll write more this weekend, school is draining me.

sorry for any typos you guys know i don't reread it.

ily have a good day.