✓ Heavenly

003. Hogwarts Express

"And guess who's a Slytherin prefect?" said Ron, still with his eyes closed.

"Malfoy," replied Harry at once.

" 'Course," said Ron bitterly, stuffing the rest of the Frog into his mouth and taking another.

"And that vicious cow Pansy Parkinson," said Venus viciously. Her head was turned to Constance, but everyone in the carriage listened to what she was saying. "How she got to be a prefect when she's thicker than a concussed gremlin . . ."

"Who's Hufflepuff?" Harry asked.

"Ernie Macmillan and Hannah Abbott," said Ron thickly.

"And Anthony Goldstein and Padma Patil for Ravenclaw," added Venus looking at everyone but Harry.

"Ron went to the Yule Ball with Padma Patil," said a vague voice. Everyone turned to look at Luna Lovegood, who was gazing unblinkingly at Ron over the top of The Quibbler. He swallowed his mouthful of Frog. Constance edged away from the girl discreetly, weirded out but not wanting Luna to notice.

"Yeah, I know I did," he said, looking mildly surprised.

"She didn't enjoy it very much," Luna informed him. "She doesn't think you treated her very well, because you wouldn't dance with her. I don't think I'd have minded," she added thoughtfully, "I don't like dancing very much."

She retreated behind The Quibbler again. Ron stared at the cover with his mouth hanging open for a few seconds, then looked around at Ginny for some kind of explanation, but Ginny had stuffed her knuckles in her mouth to stop herself giggling. Ron shook his head, bemused, then checked his watch. Constance stared curiously at Luna and back at Venus. She shrugged petting Snowflake behind her ear.

"We're supposed to patrol the corridors every so often," he told Harry and Neville, "and we can give out punishments if people are misbehaving. I can't wait to get Crabbe and Goyle for something. . . ."

"You're not supposed to abuse your position, Ron!" said Hermione sharply.

"Yeah, right, because Malfoy won't abuse it at all," said Ron sarcastically.

"So you're going to descend to his level?" added Venus, fixing the added threads to her garments. Hermione looked back at Ron, a satisfied smile set on her face because of Venus' comment.

Ron gave Venus a really? look. "No, I'm just going to make sure I get his mates before he gets mine." Hermione scoffed. "For heaven's sake, Ron —"

"I'll make Goyle do lines, it'll kill him, he hates writing," said Ron happily. He lowered his voice to Goyle's low grunt and, screwing up his face in a look of pained concentration, mimed writing in midair. "I . . . must . . . not . . . look . . . like . . . a . . . baboon's . . . backside. . . ."

Everyone laughed, but nobody laughed harder than Luna Lovegood. She let out a scream of mirth that caused Harry's owl to wake up and flap her wings indignantly and Hermione's cat to leap up into the luggage rack, hissing. Snowflake didn't flinch in her deep sleep on Venus' lap. She laughed so hard that her magazine slipped out of her grasp, slid down her legs, and onto the floor.

"That was funny!"— Her prominent eyes swam with tears as she gasped for breath, staring at Ron. Utterly nonplussed, he looked around at the others, who were now laughing at the expression on Ron's face and at the ludicrously prolonged laughter of Luna Lovegood, who was rocking backward and forward, clutching her sides.