roslyn

chapter one

an: little dark age is the song to be played later on in the story. I'm not sure if the link is working but enjoy the read xx

Roslyn Anderson

I couldn't remember what happened but I was being shaken awake by someone. I brought my hands up to my temples to ease the dizziness that I felt, my eyes stinging, just another side effect of one of my crying sessions.

I looked beside me to see who had woken me up only to be greeted by worried brown eyes.

"What are you doing in my room?" my voice came out as hoarse and dry.

"You didn't come out to eat anything all day yesterday nor today, I just thought you would want something to eat." She says with a sympathetic smile. I finally notice that she's holding a plastic plate filled with a small portion of mash potatoes, and veggies.

I just stare at her. She seems to be trying to take care of me, it's strange.

"Thank you, Tam." The nickname rolls off my tongue foreign.

It's Tamara. Tamara. She hates it when I call her Tam.

"I'm sorry, I don't know why I said that." I say swiftly to cover up my mistake.

"That's all right. Go out, get some air, maybe to that bookstore you're always driving to? I don't know, just get out of the house." And with that, she places the food on my table in front of me then closes the door after she walks out.

She's probably right, the bookstore is a happy place for me. It's certainly going to cheer me up even if it's just for the moment. A small smile lingers on my lips as I look at the spot where Tamara's presence was just a minute ago. The last time we stopped to have a civil conversation was forever ago.

***

I didn't want to eat but my growling stomach said otherwise. I took my time and eventually I was full, leaving just a few remaining carrots on the plate.

I threw the leftover food as well as the plate in the bin under my table and walked over to my closet to pick out a pair of white pants, a brown jumper, some sneakers and underwear for my shower.

***

I'm staring at myself through a foggy mirror. My cheekbones are undeniably hollow because of exhaustion. My eyes are drawn to the dark spots under my eyes and the defects on my face.

Sadness and disgust fill my thoughts as I take another look at my appearance but if there's a switch that has been flipped, I'm okay with looking like this.

Opening the bathroom door I walk across the hallway down to my room making sure not to be too loud. I gather my keys and wallet.

No one noticed when I slowly made my way down the stairs and out the front door towards my car. No one ever notices and I'm glad.

The drive on the way was short but it felt like an eternity. Music blaring out of my car speakers was keeping me distracted. I arrived at the bookstore just before a new song was about to play.

I turned off the ignition after I parked, then searched for my AirPods. I can never go there without them.

"Damn it, where are they?" I whispered to myself searching through the center console.

I spotted the black case. Victory baby.

-play song here-

I took out each air-pod one by one and placed it in my ear. A Little Dark Age started playing one of my favourite songs.