I'll see you in the sun

Part one, introduction

It's so strange that autumn is so beautiful, yet everything is dying, much in the same way that a sunset is so breathtakingly magnificent, yet it marks another thing coming to an end.

Autumn reminds me of him.

I see him in the leaves that fall, I see him in the skies and stars,  I see him in the lavish oranges and golds that stretch far and wide, it is but a reflection of the dawn, the promise of the rising sun that shall return once the darkness has fled and the land has rested once more.

But he won't return, not like the sun nor the leaves after the autumn, unlike the stars or the skies that spread to the far ends of the earth, not like the sun will rise and breathe life into the world as it does each day.

Not ever.

I watch the sunset, I watch it every day-I watch as the sky breaks into a riot of oranges and purples, and the water catches fire in a glorious array of ambers and golds. I watch it in the hope that one  day, he may be born from the skies in the radiant chaos of the sunrise, and come back to me.

I used to long for sunsets, and for long horizons filled with nothing but the beauty of nature in all her glory, But then I stopped longing for sunsets and started longing for him.

At first I waited for him everyday, in our place, I hoped he would return.
I don't know what I was waiting for, perhaps I couldn't accept it, and I was waiting for a reason to believe it wasn't true, or perhaps I had accepted it, and I was waiting for a reason to stay here without him.
I will wait, until my time is up. It doesn't matter what happens to me, I have nothing else to lose but if perhaps, he does return, I will be waiting. I could recognise him by touch alone, by smell, I would know him blind, by the way his eyes would look into my soul with a mere glance and the way he could stop my heart with the lightest of touches. I would know him in death itself, and I would know him at the end of the world.