I'm Better When I'm With You

The Day My Dad Left

(Sam's pov)

My heads swirling, I can't see anything the world goes black. I can feel my heart, every beat, every painful, painful beat.  I can't get the image out of my head,  my dad's laying right in front of me. He's covered in sweat and puke, the room reeks as if he's been laying there for hours. Why h-how could I have let this happen. My dad was my everything, why-why has he let himself drown in his feelings. This is all my fault. I knew things between him and mom were bad, but me coming out pushed him over the edge. "I hate your faggot ass, so, so much, I don't think I can love you ever again." Those vital words were the last he ever spoke to me.  He left for a few weeks, I thought he was dead. He came home last night I heard him and mom going at it again. The pain in my mother's voice echoed throughout the house.

   "Kenny you can't leave us, not like this." My mom said her voice in udder agony.

Bam.

I heard my mom start to cry. Nothing hurts worse than hearing your own mother cry, a cry that sounds so painful you start to wish it were you.

I wake up in the same spot I always do.

It happened again. It's the same thing every night. I want the pain to go away. I grab my phone, which is laying next to me. 4:00 am. No sleep again tonight, god I can't remember the last time I slept the whole night. I just wish I could leave this life, with all its pain filled memories behind. I couldn't do that to my mom though. She's been through enough.  I roll over to the other side of my bed, and close my eyes.

My alarm goes off.

Shit. I'm alive.  Everyday that goes by hurts more and more. The problem is that there is no reason for my existence. I go to school, come home, talk to my mom, sleep, repeat everyday for months now. Ever since my dad died, I feel this hole in my heart, and it just gets bigger and bigger. The void inside me grows everyday, I try to claw my way out, but I can't. The harder I try the bigger it gets, sometimes I think its easier to give up.
I wake up from my sleep, crap late again. I hesitantly roll out of bed, it would be easier to lay here and let the void consume me.
I leave my house and kiss my mom goodbye. Shes not the same anymore, I can't remember the last time she smiled.

I walk out of school and find myself sitting under a tree in the parking lot. I like to come here to be away from the world, it feels relieving, yet also terrifying. Since my dad died people have avoided me. I think they know what happened, and resent me for who I am. I feel my eyes start to tear up. I think I might sit here for a bit.  Just as I close my eyes.

Authors Note-

Lolsies hey guys, this is my first time planning out ahead of time, so we shall see where this book goes. To be honest I don't plan on doing more than 50 chapters. I'll try to release them every wednesday but who knows if that will actually happen.  575words.