My name is Dita Rodriguez. I am 33 years old and I'm about to be 34 this year. I always believed that by this time and age I would be someone: a successful woman fulfilling her life's passion, or perhaps a someone's wife, maybe someone's mother, or better yet a strong independent woman. What I didn't expect was that I wouldn't be anyone. I am just Dita, no one more no one less. That fact has shaken my very core. How could I not be anyone? What happened? Where did it all go wrong? I remembered praying to God for an answer. I asked again and again until my asking became demands. My demands then became accusations. Accusations became facts. Facts became my reality. The answer was right in front of my eyes. It was God. It was he, figuratively speaking that did this is to me. It was " he" who chose to make me no one and have nothing. I was confident of that truth. Just as I was allowing myself to hate God for doing this is to me; a miracle occurred. God opened my eyes. He gave me the truest answer in forms of people I love; He spoke through their mouths. He told my middle sister to tell me that I'm jealous, hateful, manipulative person, who was mentally abusing her. He told my younger sister to remain me of the time when I was being a slut who went out with her ex boyfriend. He told my best friend to tell me that I have a trash personality, who has no goals, that belittles the gifts and talents given to me, who is also ungrateful, selfish, and prideful.
In these moments, I knew three things instantly. The first one was this: I wasn't the perfect, beautiful, and innocent person that I believed I was. The fact of the matter is that I am a monster, ugly, and disgusting. The second " lesson" that I learned was that all my thoughts, all my actions, all my words, all my decisions are the reason why I am not someone. The third " lesson" that I learned was that: God truly loves me because in seeing myself through the eyes of my loved ones, as painfully raw as it was, it makes me want to change, if not for me then for them.
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From Ashes to Fire
General FictionThis is a story about a 33 year old woman who is lost, and broken and how God leads her back. In her journey she discovers more than she could have ever imagined.
