The Mc'Murderer

The Mc Backstory

So I know you all want me to get right into the spicy murder part, but that's at the other end of the straw. I'm sure you're wondering how I even got here.

Well it all started with me over dosing in a Denny's parking lot. I know that sounds lame because well this story is all about me killing chicks in a McDonald but that's honestly how it started.

One second I'm higher than Jupiter stumbling around the Denny's parking lot. Random people are staring at me like 'oh shit he's about to fuckjng die' but they know. They've been here before. Cause why the fuck else would you be in a Denny's parking lot at 2 am. In this dumpster fire of a town.

I'm chasing what looks to be a purple butterfly but I can't seem to catch it. then I black out. I see nothing. Everything's blank. At that second I think 'if this is death..it's not so bad' then I feel a massive jolt. And I see the magestic yellow and red m staring at me.

I see the light, there's so much noise around me. And in retro spect it was because I was in an ambulance and I had seen the sign thorough the ambulnce window. The jolt was the weird metal squares they use when you half die. Well no..you full die and then they bring you back like a fucking zombie.

Yeah but that honestly doesn't matter because that was pretty fucking magical and you nobody can convince me other wise. Rumor has it my first words when becoming back alive we're "did you mc'life me..because I'm hungry Baby"

The hot doctor by me was scowling and in that second I thought I was the baddest bitch alive but this dude was not having it. Then I realized that I must look like the biggest idiot ever seen cause I just fucking died in a Denny's parking lot. But do you think that's gonna stop me..?

FUCK NO.

"I should buy you a happy meal..so I can wipe tht frown upside down" I say slurring each and every word. That hot paramedic just rolled his eyes. HE ROLLED HIS EYES!

"You should let me suck on thst slurpy of yours"

"How do we take him back to like..death"

"Aww baby don't be salty nobody likes a salty slurpy"

"What the fuck is his issue with slurpys." Hottie says to his co worker

"No better question what the fuck is wrong with this dude" his co worker replies

"Oh many things but I'll change for you. Just like joker did for Harley Quinn"

"Oh so I'm Harley now"

"Yeah sugar she's a bad ass"

"Fuck no do I look like a girl"

"No but I can give you a pedicure"

"Alright we're gonna bring you inside" hottie said as we pulled into the hospital

"Cant get rid of me that easy"

"Yes. Yes we can"

"Fine fine baby but just know I'll be back soon, I would never abandon you"

"I wish you would"

"Ugh that hurt sugar that hurt bad" I said raising a hand to my heart. I try and sweep the dark curls out of my eyes but they just fall back down.