Your Kind Hand

Chapter 3

That night, Yuki couldn't sleep.  He was tossing and turning all throughout the night.  There was one thing in particular that he couldn't stop thinking about.  Kakeru.  He thought about their conversation at the mall yesterday.  Although the things he would say about cute girls was only to help Machi, he couldn't help but wish....he were talking about him instead.  He was so confused.  He hated feeling like this.

I vowed not to do this anymore, but...

Yuki shut these thoughts and feelings away and put a lid on them.  That was the only thing he knew how to deal with these kinds of things.

...

When Yuki finally got to sleep, he found himself in a dream.  He was in a field of flowers in the garden of Kaibara high school, and across from him, was Kakeru.  He gave Yuki that big goofy smile he usually does, and walked over to him.

"Yuki!"  Kakeru shouted, excitedly.

Yuki?  No Yun-Yun?

Hearing Kakeru say his name like this was...nice.  It made Yuki's heart flutter, and he didn't know why, but in this moment, he didn't care.  Kakeru looked at Yuki with love in his eyes.  Yuki's face grew red as a tomato, and he got lost in Kakeru's deep brown eyes.  He couldn't look away.

"What?  You falling for me or something?"  Kakeru teased.

Normally, Yuki would've hit him or said some remark back, but this time, he didn't.  He simply kept staring, inching closer to his face.

"Yes...I think I am."

Kakeru touched Yuki's cheek, and stroked it with his thumb.

"I was waiting for you to say that."

Without any more words, the two of them leaned in, and their lips met.  Yuki couldn't pull away.

His lips are so soft.  I feel....at ease.

Yuki wrapped his hands around Kakeru's neck, pulling him closer.  Kakeru put his hands around Yuki's back, moving them up and down as they continued kissing.  Finally, they pulled away.

"This is...all I've ever wanted.  This feels good, this feels-"

"Like you?"  Kakeru finished.

Yuki smiled and nodded genuinely.

"Yes.  I feel like me."

Suddenly, Yuki woke up in a cold sweat, gasping for air.  He covered his mouth with his hand, and looked around the room, making sure he was in his room.

"What was that?"  He asked himself.

Yuki shook his head.  There was no damn way he had a dream about kissing Kakeru.  He pushed those feelings aside, and dared not to think about them.  Not now, not ever.  It wasn't right.  He wasn't supposed to feel like this, he knew that.  To distract himself from his thoughts, he busied himself by getting ready for school.  He looked at the clock and noticed it was way too early for him to get up, but right now, he didn't care.  He decided he could go for a walk to pass the time.  Yuki put on his school uniform, and walked to the mirror to tie his tie.  He stared into the reflection for longer than he anticipated.  He suddenly couldn't recognize himself.  He put his hand on the mirror, touching it.

Who...am I?

Tears formed in his light gray eyes.  Why did he feel so lost once again?  He was just starting to figure out who he was and what he wanted, and yet...something still didn't feel quite right, but what was it?  Yuki shook it off and continue with his plan to go for a walk.  The chill of the morning air surprised him, but he continued on anyway.  he wasn't quite sure where he was wandering off to, but he kept going.  It felt....right.  After walking for awhile, he began to jog, as if to run away from his turmoil.  Once he jogged for a good amount of time, he grew out of breath, due to his asthma, and decided to sit down next to a nearby tree and rest.  He slowly closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.