A Series Of Cal's Unfortunate Events

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by totallynotcj

by totallynotcj

Cal was admiring Mare from across the room when suddenly he tripped over his face! Everyone was staring. Evangeline kicked him in the you-know-where. "Fool!"

"Stop making an idiot of yourself!" She stared at him with anger..

He sniffed, eyes watering."B-but-"

Mare walked over. "Cal you're a ----------- and I ---- hate your ----- ---------- ------- pineapple--------- cheese----------- Hawaii------------ Teresea------------- potato------------------ -------- ---------------- ---- -----------CUCUMBER!"

Cal looked up. "Did someone say cum?"

Mare frowned. "Uhm... Cal, are you alright?"

He smiled dopily up at her. "No!"

"Come with me," she hissed, pulling him t his feet and taking him down the hallway. She pulled him into her room and he pressed her to the bed.

"Quit it you blundering --------- ------ ----------oaf!"

She smacked him in the face, and he wanted to cry. Stay strong for Mare. Look like a big muscly lump of heroic meat.

"Well?" he said.

She sighed. "Cal..."

2 hours later

They lay in bed next to each other, Evangeline lying dead on the floor. Cal had enough of his 'fun' with her.

Mare trailed a finger down his jawline.

Cal smiled. He ripped her hair out and plunged the knife into her back.