𝔹𝕒𝕔𝕜 𝕥𝕠 𝕐𝕠𝕦

𝔼𝕡𝕚𝕝𝕠𝕘𝕦𝕖 𝟙

"Iz... Izu... I-Is it my f-fault?" he hiccups as he pulls away from the embrace, meeting emerald orbs as he holds onto the exact hand he had seen them on. And as he rolls the sleeve up, another dagger stabs into his ribs as he sees dozens of drawings carved all up his forearms and wrists, a few still bleeding and running over older scabs. He knew it was his fault, and he didn't know why he was asking. "W-Was it my fault you... y-you did this?"

Izuku held his breathe. If he were to be honest, Katsuki would break down again, which will further drive him to want to kill himself. He was far too fragile and the glue was already strained enough against the force pressing down on him. "N-No, Kacchan. No-"

The lying flickered a fire in the blonde, and a wave of anger rushed through him. But only briefly. "B-Be honest w-w-with me!" he hissed out through squinting and now flooded eyes, his resolve shattered and now forcing itself down his throat.

He couldn't handle the pressure. Izuku starts to cry, tears streaming down his cheeks. He knew the answer, and Katsuki knew it too, but he couldn't bring himself to say it. Yet he did. 

"Y-Y-Yes."

They both break down again.

Izuku did end up staying at Katsuki's house that night, though neither of them could sleep. Katsuki was still traumatised knowing that if he hadn't reacted, the two of their bodies would be splattered across the floor, and Izuku could still see Katsuki being tortured by his own thoughts in front of him. 

Katsuki did end up getting suffocated by the sludge monster, forgetting that the bottle was there when he was walking down that ally, and, after Izuku had acted to try and save him, All Might defeated the villain and had deemed the greenette worthy enough to manifest his quirk, life continuing as usual.

Izuku still ended up trying out for UA, Katsuki, instead of being the bully he used to be, giving infinite support to the greenette in order to keep him at his diligent self. The two had both passed the exam with respectable marks.

They were both sent to a mental health institute after the incident, Izuku and Katsuki explaining everything to their parents, except Katsuki's "loop", which he couldn't physically explain - those were Katsuki's own memories, haunting him for life. The closest he got to talking about his trauma was that they were realistic dreams he couldn't sleep through. Mitsuki, at first, was angry at her son when she found out he bullied Izuku but, after seeing how easily he was brought to tears and what his pride had been reduced to, the sight of his new character hurt her, and she immediately forgave him like Izuku and Inko had done. 

The stronger they are, the harder they fall.

And Katsuki fell hard.

Izuku had a really low self esteem but, after the amount of times Katsuki had cried and apologised and claimed to take everything he said back because they all weren't true, he saw a little bit more colour in his life, more concerned about putting Katsuki back on his feet. Typical Izuku!

He ended up walking away with a few anti-depressants and counselling was offered to him, though he was more comfortable talking to Katsuki about his depression. On some of those days, Katsuki was stable and instead of sobbing apologies, which is what he usually did, he made sure to tell Izuku how amazing he was and how much he meant, and that none of the reasons why he hated himself were enough for him to do what he wanted to do. It was those days that drew Izuku closer to Katsuki, more reasons for him to love the blonde.

Izuku had been offered some light sleep medication, though he barely uses it. Since Mitsuki and Inko knew then two were extremely dependant on each other, and could hardly spend a day without seeing the other, they allowed them to sleep together, alternating the location between their houses. Izuku didn't take sleeping pills because he wanted to stay up with Katsuki, not wanting him to be alone in the night. There were times he ended up reluctantly dosing off, Katsuki playing softly with his hair as he did. The blonde would always be there to comfort him if ever he had a nightmare, which was what the pills were supposed to help with.

Izuku's road to recovery was long, but nowhere near as long as Katsuki's.

Because of all the past trauma practically drilled into his mind, repeating over and over again behind closed eyelids, Katsuki's thoughts were more dangerous, and he had attempted to kill himself a few times through his first year at UA. They were times his thoughts had gotten the better of him, and the only outlet he could physically see was death. 

He was given various heavy anti-depressants and sleep medication, though he only really used the depressants, which stills all the overwhelming thoughts in his head. It was either Mitsuki or Izuku who walked in when he was about to swallow a handful of mystery medication, and counselling was rendered close to useless when he refused to open up. One time, he did manage to swallow the pills just as Mitsuki walked in and she immediately screamed for an ambulance, Izuku instantly calling them and sobbing into the phone as Katsuki was gargling on his own vomit, passing out.

He survived before the drugs had entered his bloodstream, and was kept at the hospital for another week.

He couldn't physically sleep, and was rather sensitive when it came to going to school, the rest of their new class accepting Katsuki's anxious condition and gave him infinite support. 

Leaving sleep aside, however, his condition had drastically improved. A full year later, his anxiety had plummeted as his grades soared to the top of the class, the occasional breakdown only happening voluntarily, normally whenever Izuku was alone with him. His pride, with infinite help from Izuku and Mitsuki, had been rebuilt, lacking a lot of vanity that had caused too much destruction, and he no longer grown depended on his medication. Not that he ever did.

Izuku was fine by then, perhaps a little concerned with the heating of his cheeks whenever Katsuki flashed a soft smile at him, but that was all settled when he was asked out on a date by the blonde, hardly hesitating as he nodded aggressively, lurching forward to give a strong hug to him. They were announced as together later on that day, and Katsuki felt slightly guilty when he saw the sad expression Uraraka wore. She would fine someone else to love, though.

Izuku still made the same friends as before, and Katsuki made several crazy friends, most of the time them either trying to annoy him and his boyfriend or being overly energetic. Especially the redhead Katsuki remembered from before. The blonde hadn't realised how much he had missed out from this class compared to his previous life, and wouldn't dare to admit his strong attachment to them.

As for Katsuki's sleep, he still got none, nightmares forbidding him to even close his eyes. Too much of the past was on his mind, impossible for him to "simply forget". How he treated Izuku, Izuku's last speech before he died, the sight of Izuku on the pavement, Izuku living a happy life without his existence. And, worst of all, Izuku taunting him about what he had done. He didn't deserve Izuku, or any of the support he was given. Yet every minute he spent with his boyfriend constantly reminded him of how much he deserved it all. He may not believe it yet, but he was close to accepting it. His months of sleep still needed catching up though, and it will take potentially years for him to get a chance to.

In just a matter of months, everything had changed.

However, for a pair of teens who wanted to kill themselves so desperately to where there were now 1 year later, it was a massive improvement.

They had amazing friends, family and each other,

And couldn't ask for any more.

End of Epilogue 1

I'm under the impression that this was a trash epilogue, which is why I want to continue. I have a really good fluff idea (bit of angst though), and I'm not gonna be AS nice this time, because I'll upload it next week :D

Hope you enjoyed this (sorta), and the next epilogue, I PROMISE, is better! 

Be potates!

                        ~Spud🥔