Status: Happy Birthday to everyone. @Parogar , hold on, your present is coming. (22 hours ago)
| Name | James Janzen |
| Location | Canada, where the moose and the beavers play |
| Member Since | Feb 26, 2012 |
| Votes Received | 342 |
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It's a dark night, and you're walking down a deserted alleyway. Creepy, right? Well, not really. After all, not many people mug penguins. But you still have a reason to feel fear: not many penguins go strolling down dark alleyways, after all. But then you hear it. A tiny squeak, a muffled step. You know there's someone there, and they're out to get you. Waddling faster to get away, the quiet sounds of a follower amplify slowing, speeding up with you. The road is ten metres away. Nine. Eight. Seven. But then you stop. You didn't try to. But someone has you by the flipper, and they aren't letting go. Letting out a fearful squawk, you try to wriggle free, but to no avail. You slowly turn around, and you are met with your greatest fear: It's a penguin smuggler. The vile failure of a human that devotes their life to killing and stuffing penguins. And now he's come for you... (Excerpt from the in-progress "Mr. Squawk's the Name. The UN is my Game.") *** James Janzen is a rather odd author who spends his time doing homework, writing stories about alien penguins and the UN, and making a few random FanFictions for books on Wattpad. (Purposely bad, of course. Otherwise there'd be no point... Mangling works of art is wonderfully fun) There may also be a few SFSD's (Aptly procrastinated on, of course) thrown into the entire mix. Current projects: 1) Birthday present for the amazing@Parogar , involving - of course - my wonderful alien penguins. 2) SFSD 6.0, being aptly procrastinated on 3) Mr. Squawk's the Name. The UN is my Game. (Working title) 4) Birthday present for the wonderful@Raneko_chan , involving - of course - my wonderful alien penguins. A FanFiction of a FanFiction? I can hardly wait...
Works
 | SFSD Amazing Paladin FanFiction/Flash Science FictionThe sequel to "Tristan's Untimely Death - Random Paladin FanFiction" which was posted on my old account @Ilovetoread72. Read SallySlater's Paladin for FREE first @SallySlater! 43 reads  1  2 |
 | Trump Card 5 reads 2 4 |
 | Short Stories14 parts / 15 pages, updated Dec 28, 2012 This is a collection of short stories. Some of them quick, some of them not. Enjoy!
...
Except for The Vampire (Etc) because it sucks xD  2,604 reads 30 112 |
 | Why Teleporters Don't Always Work - Short Story 64 reads 2 1 |
 | Never Trust Old Ladies - Fantasy Smackdown3 parts / 4 pages, updated Dec 16, 2012 A Fantasy Smackdown entry which I left till the last minute.
Title by @thecancer  106 reads 8 17 |
 | Joe the Pyrotechnic and the Plight of the Murderous Snow[Book One in the Weird Christmases Series] For once in his life, Joe is actually having a semi-decent Christmas. (Probably due to the kids playi... read more 17 reads 1 9 |
 | The Timekeeper's Son2 parts / 3 pages, updated Oct 19, 2012 One day, a teenager picked up a piece of paper.
One day, his world was changed forever.
One day, there was an adventure. 180 reads 11 15 |
 | DisConnect - Prologue 33 reads 4 10 |
 | L.E.A.P.: Alpha13 parts / 30 pages, updated Aug 24, 2012 He awakes in a cold stone room with over thirty other people. They don't remember what happened.
Not only that, they don't remember anything else.
In a world full of dange... read more 13,972 reads 260 307 |
 | Things Unknown2 parts / 8 pages, updated Aug 15, 2012 My entry for round one of the Science Fiction smackdown.
Pictures used:
3: Giant robot knight
4: Anime girl
5: "Angel" robots.
6: Moon behind city with wate... read more 369 reads 19 39 |
James_Janzen's Reading ListRead LaterFavoritesFollowingFanFinishedRead FirstIt made me laugh...In high regardReading
Message Board
James_Janzen
22 hours ago
Shoutout to Parogar (Shhhh don't tell him I sent this) whose birthday is on MONDAY. Yeah that's right. MONDAY. Which is why you should all check out Psych Investigation Episodes (an AMAZING and FUNNY Science Fiction) on Amazon. The first book is currently ON SALE for FREE and the SECOND BOOK is only 2.99! Sooooo yeah. Check it out. Seriously.
James_Janzen
6 days ago
@inspirationproject_@Solecism Sounds fun. So, I'll make up some code and give it to you. Keep in mind I'm a bit rusty as I haven't been doing much HTML for a while... actually since the last project we did together, I believe. Can I have your email? It's kinda awkward to paste a ton of code into Wattpad.
inspirationproj...
1 week ago
Hey James, it's Sierra. I've updated some books onto this account and I'd like for you to create the advert for the User-Generated Contest thread. Use code, and look at the books so you know what basic information to include. I'd include most of the stuff from "How It Works" in Basic Knowledge. :) Happy coding! - Sierra P.S. Yep, we're female, if you check out our profile. Sorry. But we're majorly female, so there. Majority rules.
James_Janzen
1 week ago
Ilovetoread72 also has the@SallySlater 's Paladin FanFiction posted on it, too. +1 Invisible unicorn if you can spot the easter egg in the covers...
James_Janzen
2 weeks ago
@SJForester Erm... Disliking the idea about 5 sentences - 5 paragraphs in ^_^
James_Janzen
2 weeks ago
All right guys. You know that AMAZING chat bar at the bottom? The one I've probably used to talk with you - yes you, random person in the stereotypical white shirt - before? WELL GUESS WHAT. IT'S LEAVING. This means NO MORE: 1) Being able to tell when people are online 2) Getting those awesome instantaneous updates 3) Being able to chat LIVE and easily 4) Just... you know... the plain amazingness. So, in order to compensate for this terrible loss, I am now going to begin chatting incessantly with people though PMs. Feel free to message me through PM too ^_^
taliciaem
2 weeks ago
I'm just the same, I hardly get much written before I give up or hit writers block. good luck with your writing. :) here's hoping u get a book published after all. i'm planning to get mine printed when i finish. :) http://oi47.tinypic.com/e8n048.jpg
SJForester
2 weeks ago
@James_Janzen What specifically is keeping you from continuing/finishing any of the stories you've begun?
James_Janzen
2 weeks ago
@AngusEcrivain@HardeeBurger@SJForester *Sigh* keeping up with all this is so tiring. Best to go work on something else and forget...
AngusEcrivain
2 weeks ago
@DemelzaCarlton Well, thanks kindly for the shout-out, Dem :)
Recent Votes
Recent Comments
@TheOrangutan Well, as I'm sure you'll be glad to know, the real reason for the dedication was ~4 paragraphs after the random toilet rant, which...Tips for FanFiction Writers
And was I chosen as winner? Was I was I was I was I?
The Inspiration Project: Ba...
*Raises hand* I have a question! I have a question! Why can't we ask questions? You're oppressing the general population :O Also, can you write...
The Inspiration Project: Ba...
Such an absolutely amazing book. Siiigh to write like you..
Twice Born
@SallySlater Lol, thanks :P So many references :) What was your point count? Aaaaaand did you notice the cover easter egg? Hint: Open the cover...
SFSD Amazing Paladin FanFic...
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