Hell's Force of Nature (Helltaker Harem X Scout Male Reader)

You're a dude, alright? You're a retired merc and you work 9 to 5 at a dingy bookshop nest to a coffee shop that barely covers your bills, and all the emo kids, nerds and legally insane people visit your job.
One day, you come across a rug while cleaning in the backroom and you set it aside and you go about your work, but driving home from work, you are suddenly brought to hell alongside a man who you have no idea who he is.
But now they know who you are, and they know where you are.
Now, you are screwed.