I Want to be Your First Choice, Harry Potter

Chapter Eighteen

"The sky is crystal clear tonight." I say. Meaning you can see millions of stars at a better quality than how it would be on a foggy night.

"Yeah the stars are really something on nights like these." He slides over closer to me. He continues to look at the sky but I redirect my gaze at him.

"Yeah, breathtaking." I say, still staring at him.

"Almost as beautiful as you looked walking down the steps tonight." He says. I'm speechless. There is no way that he really just said that. He sees the confused look on my face.

"What I can't call my best friend beautiful?" He asks. I can't stand the word 'friend' at this point all it does is ruin all my hopes. I look away from him then lean against the railing and look over the edge of the tower. He pulls me back lightly.

"Are you trying to fall off?" He asks, making fun of me. His touch is so soft and innocent but it makes me want to cry because I know he doesn't mean it in that way.

"No, just trying to get a better look." I say.

"Of what? The ground?" He asks. I don't know what I was trying to look at. I was just trying not to look at him. I laugh at him and shake my head. "It's funny how we could sit here in silence all night long but I'd never get bored of your company." He says. I feel like he almost knows he's leading me on. I look at him expecting him to look down or something right away but he doesn't. We stare at each other for a moment. I could stare at him forever. He ends the moment by shaking his head. "Okay it's late we should probably go to sleep now." He says. I am a little caught off guard by what just happened so I just nod my head slowly.

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"Do you ever stop studying? Have some fun for once." Harry says. We are sitting in the common room hanging out but I keep ignoring him since we have a test tomorrow in Charms class. I feel that grades are very important and tend to stress out over my grades a lot. Harry on the other hand couldn't care less sometimes, all he wants is to win every quidditch game.

"I can have fun, Harry, it's just now's not the time." I say, not looking up from my notes.

"It seems like it's never the time anymore." He mutters. I roll my eyes at his ignorance. "Come on, let's go practice some quidditch or something fun." He suggests.

"It's not always fun and games, sometimes I just want to get good grades on my tests rather than slack off." I snap at him. I immediately regret having such a harsh tone with him.

"So you think I slack off?" He asks.

"No that's not what I said." I begin to explain myself.

"Wait, do you think I'm stupid compared to you?" He asks. Of course I don't think that, in some situations he is way smarter than I could ever be.

"Harry, why would you think that? Sometimes I think you purposely start things because you're bored." I say. I don't want to argue with him but sometimes he knows exactly what buttons to press. It makes my skin crawl when people accuse me of thinking higher of myself than others. I'm no snob and I will never be one.

"So do you want to go play quidditch or not?" He asks, completely ignoring what I just said.

"Did you even listen to what I said? Is quidditch all you care about?" I ask. He already seemed like he was in a bad mood but if he wasn't he sure is now.

"No! It just helps me get my mind off things like you know who but you wouldn't have to worry about things like that." He says. I see the instant regret on his face after saying that. It still makes me angry though.

"So you think all those times I've been there for you, comforting you, I just didn't care!?" I ask. I raise my voice a little but I don't really care because what he just said really hurts my heart.

"No I don't." He starts.

"It's ok why don't you just run along and play quidditch, Harry and leave me to do my studying." I say. I don't want him in my sight right now. I can't believe the words that have come out of his mouth. Not once did I doubt him when he said that The Dark Lord was back last year in the graveyard, he just took everything I have ever done for him for granted. Just because I'm technically not the one that The Dark Lord is after doesn't mean I'm not at risk. He messed up this time and he knows it but that doesn't make me any less angry with him.
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