For The Sake Of

CHAPTER 20: Already?

I love this chapter 😍😍...my fingers were itching to update this. And please read each and every line of this chapter cause I wrote them with love.

Isaac's POV:

I woke up next to my wife while I was lying on my stomach with one of my hand wrapped around her waist.

It feels good to call her my wife. Sounds good.

I smiled looking at her sleeping peacefully and brushed a few strands of hair from her face.

I traced her face with my finger slowly, starting from her forehead, brushing my finger on her eyes, down to her cheeks and then I slowly traced her bottom lip.
Then I slowly caressed her cheeks when her eyes fluttered open.

"Goodmorning", she said in hoarse voice.

"Morning", I replied kissing the tip of her nose.

She was so sleepy that within a minute she fell asleep again. Thankfully it was Saturday, so, she can asleep as long as she wants.
And I quietly left the room trying not to wake her up.

Entering my study, I opened one of the drawers to retrieve a file when my eyes fell on the the photo frame, Larisa bought here last night.
I picked it up and traced my finger over Serah's picture.

"I am sorry", I whispered to her, a tear falling down my eyes.

I don't think so I can fall in love again...after what happened. I loved Serah and I lost her...I don't want to fall in love again because I don't want to risk anyone else's life.

So, what was I thinking last night when I kissed her again. Why did I kiss her? Why did I hug her back? Why did I ask her to stay? Why does my heart beats so rapidly whenever I think about her?

This is not right...I am not supposed to fall for her. I can't.

Then why the hell I gave her false hopes last night?! I kissed her as if she is the most precious thing in the world. I found comfort in her arms. I don't want her to leave me. I need her but I can't love her.

Why is all this so freaking difficult?!

I married her just to make sure I don't lose her again, but falling for her was not in the plan.
No, no, no; I can't fall for her.

It feels so good when she cares about me but at the same time it is scary too.
When she said that she cares about me, my heart skipped a beat, my heart melted but then...what did I reply to her? I never asked you to care for me. Stupid.

I was afraid that if she will start caring for me, talk to me nicely then I will fall for her. Hell! I am still scared!

I went downstairs into my gym and removing my t-shirt, I started hitting the punching bag.

Why *punch* Am *punch* I *punch* Giving *punch* Her *punch* False *punch* Hopes.

I will just end up hurting her, I keep hurting her yet she always stays with me. I don't deserve her.
I need to push her away or else she will get hurt. If she falls for me...then it will hurt me also if I don't reciprocate her feelings.

But I need her.

After all these years...I finally felt comfort in her arms. I had the most peaceful sleep. I didn't feel the urge to smoke to calm myself after I told her everything because she gave me a warm hug.

'All we need sometimes is a warm hug', I smiled remembering her words.

I love how her body reacts to my touch, how her face paled when I told her that she is mine and I loved the way she was smiling at me in the car while coming back from the hospital; I loved how she looked at me with admiration.
I love how she tries to make me jealous and succeeds in it; I love her feistiness. I loved how passionately she kissed me back. I loved how she stayed with me that night when I was drunk. I loved how she asks me whether I had dinner or not. I loved how she told me to stop smoking as it is injurious to my health. I loved how she told me that I look cute when I am angry.
I loved how she helped Emmeline and bought her home. I loved how she was ready to sacrifice herself for her company.
I love...