scp stuffs (headcanons and shitposts and more!)

the clef-bright family headcanons

*chugs gatorade* oh boy

tj and meri both eat ice. the foundation ice isn't the kind of ice they like eating, so bright or clef goes to sonic and gets a bag of sonic ice. also did you guys know that most sonics sell bags of their ice nuggets?

i want sonic ice. i've been craving it since march and it's december. nugget ice makers are like $500. i just want some nugget ice :(

jack is the big spoon, alto is the little spoon until their dog (a pitbull-beagle mix) gets in bed. then alto isn't even a spoon.

jack and alto found their dog in a dumpster when she was a puppy. meri got to give her her first name and tj gave her her middle name. her full name is garbage chonk clef-bright and she's missing her front left paw and she's a bit round.

i hate english even more than i, a native English speaker, already did because of that second to last sentence. disgusting.

once a month, jack and alto sneak tj and meri out of the foundation so they can turn "trump pence" signs into "turnip penis" signs or to light "trump 2020" flags on fire. after that, they pray to their lord and savior, Bernie Sanders.

tj is getting braces and meri had braces. meri tells tj different important things to know about braces. tj never pays attention. he's too excited to have his teeth be the first thing straight about him.

based off of my braces story! until metal got glued to my teeth for a year, nothing was straight about me! not even my spine!

tj would love to pet 529 but he's allergic to cat fur so he can only pet those naked wrinkly cats. i forgot what they're called but my mom hates them and my dad thinks they're disturbing :(.

tj can't go on testosterone or bind his chest (even if he wears a binder from gc2b) because of health issues. he doesn't have a lot of dysphoria though, and that because he already had a masc face shape, deep voice, small tiddies (if he stands up straight they're noticeable), etc when he found out he was trans.

alto, meri, tj, and jack all have adhd. but different types. jack has the "if i don't bounce my leg i will kill someone", poor impulse control type of adhd. alto has the depressive, not hyper in the slightest, zoning out adhd. meri and tj have the hyper but depressed, poor impulse control and zoning out adhd, which is called combination adhd by medical professionals.

lmao i have the combination adhd (was properly diagnosed at 3 or 4 don't yell at me) but it has more traits of the hyper one until i start over thinking. :)

meri might have ocd. i don't mean the "omg i'm so near i have ocd lol so quirky" kind, i mean the "what if i fail the test? that door didn't shut right, i have to shut it again. wash your hands 5 times. wash 5 times, wash 5 times, wash 5 times, w-" kind. she can't control it and jack and alto are trying to get her a diagnosis for ocd, but so far, they are failing. she copes by making depressing jokes about herself with the j's since they're the only ones who won't be concerned and ask her "are you ok? do you need a hug?"

i have ocd tendencies and it honestly sucks i don't get why people do the "omg i'm so neat and organized i must have ocd!" oh well...

tj is not to have anything from a whole peanut to 1/500 of a peanut. that will kill him. he has a trainer epipen (basically an epipen without a needle/anti-die juice) that he keeps with him at all times to teach new people how to use an actual one. and all/most epipens are the same concept. take off blue cap, pinch outer thigh, stab pinched part with orange part, hold for 10 seconds, call an ambulance/911. him and meri always carry extras in case he eats something that has peanuts and no one was told/peanuts weren't on the ingredient list.

fun fact about bee allergies: they can start off really minor and get more and more severe as time goes on! one day, i might need to be stabbed in the thigh with a needle! how spooky lol.

anyway that's it sorry for the long chapter bye lol