scp stuffs (headcanons and shitposts and more!)

i have a big problem

i'm starting to project onto 049 and he's starting to turn into my comfort character. now that doesn't sound too bad until you realize that i already have a fucking self insert.

anyway, here's all my new headcanons for 049 that are mostly just me turning birb man into me:

-he has adhd, specifically the hyperactive type. the only reason he doesn't act like it is because he's scared of people judging him so he just forces himself to sit still.

-if he had a tiktok, he would post thirst traps on it. (not projecting)

-he would invite you to eat the rich with him. as a date.

-he gets weird intrusive images in his brain that are like intrusive thoughts, just images.

-clumsy man. do not let him hold something that's fragile unless you want it to break.

-if takes him a lot of energy and motivation to do stuff like bathe himself. 035 always hypes 049 up so he can take a shower. and afterwards, sock tells the birb how proud he is of 049.

-anytime he's on the top bunk, he will touch the ceiling. it gives him a crumb of serotonin

-he learned that loud crying=bad when he was 3. now anytime he cries he separates himself from his body and emotions so it just looks like his zoning out while tears slowly go down his face.

-he has sensory issues. do not touch him. please?

fhksks i am this close 🤏 to making birb man autistic 😐 like i already have an scp self insert that autistic, why does birb man need to be autistic too, brain??

anyway thank you for reading all that, friends and enemies. i hope that ur comfort character is in ur dreams tonight :)