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Jay~
"How was it- wait, were you crying? Were the fireworks really that nice?" Elle bombarded me with questions once I arrived to her place.
"Yeah, it was really nice." I attempted to put on a smile for her. I cried the whole time while driving to her place.
I don't know why I feel so down. Ever since Ally confessed to me earlier, many things began running through my head. I'm even more confused now than I already was... and my chest is aching.
"Jay..." Elle immediately noticed my pain so she took me into her arms. "I don't know what you're going through, but please just know I'm here."
"Thank you." I hugged her back, but I honestly felt more shitty than comforted. Elle's so nice to me, and all I could think about is another girl.
If I continue dating Elle, will one of us get hurt? If we separate, would I end up attempting to ruin someone else's relationship?
I'm so scared and conflicted.
"Elle..." I held her hand and took her over to the couch. I laid her down comfortably then kissed her slowly.
I don't know what to feel.
"This isn't going to work out, right?" She pushed me away from her then stared into the distance, avoiding my eyes. "Even I could tell... you have feelings for Ally."
I do.
"I'm not sure," I sat back and entangled my fingers through my hair in frustration. "I think I like her, but I don't know if I should. She has a boyfriend, and he's perfect for her. If I end up taking action, it might just completely break her. I'm not sure if it's worth the risk."
"If you really like someone, then you will be willing to take whatever risk there is. If she gets broken, you can fix her. I don't know why I'm giving you advices, since you're practically dumping me... but I want you two to work out. Maybe just evaluate her relationship with Jake right now. You never know what's happening behind closed doors."
"I'm not sure... he seems really nice. From the things she's told me, he really respects her. I can't ever be as good as him, even if I want to. I'm afraid that if we end up dating in the future, she'll just be super disappointed."
"Then be better. You know her more than anyone else! You just need to be the best version of yourself. She'll love you regardless of how you are, just be real." Elle patted my back.
"I feel so guilty right now because you're so nice..." I chuckled and so did she. "I hope you find the right person for you one day. I know they'll come, because you're such a great person. I don't regret being with you; I never will."
"Don't say that, you're gonna make my heart fluster..." she giggled. "Thanks for being patient with me as well. I know I couldn't give you my all, because of our conflicting schedules. If you ever need a friend, I'm always here."
"Same here. Thanks for everything." I gave her one last peck on the forehead.
So just like that, we broke up.
It wasn't painful- in fact, we both were very relieved. This is where the phrase "we have our own lives" applies to the most. We both lived two completely different worlds that caused our downfall as a couple.
Although, I admit that this time it's my fault why our story ended.
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Ally~
Jake just dropped me home from Disneyland after our very long day, and I literally just collapsed onto my bed. If my mom was home, she would have probably screamed and told me to shower first. However, she's still at her friends house and I'm home alone.
I closed my eyes and tried to fall asleep, but I couldn't stop thinking of today. Not because of Jake, but because of Jay...
I can't believe I said that. I actually confessed to him after twelve years. I don't know if it's a good or bad thing... I heard some people say that if you confess to someone, it'll become easier to move on from them. Maybe it was for the best.
Why do I still feel regretful? I'm trying to make closure, but I feel like I'm just opening more doors.
Sometimes I wish that I just never met him.
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Hehe pace is starting to slightly change from here...
⭐️
Song: CHEN (첸) — Beautiful goodbye (사월이지나면우리헤어져요)
(LYRICS: a breakup caused by fading love where both agreed to talk it out peacefully, therefore making it a nice goodbye instead of a painful memory.)
