I.L.Y. - A MewGulf AU

Intermission: Mew

"I like you, Gulf, but I love my Gulf"

There are many things in life Mew wished he could change. Once, he wished for a time-machine, so he could travel back to all the mistakes he ever made and correct them. He figured that once he changed all those bad moments to good ones in his life, everything would become better. Everything would slowly fall exactly in its rightful place, making life easy and filled with happiness.

However, as he became older, he realized those were just wishes from a small child afraid to confront reality. There's no simple way to erase all the mistakes he ever made. Even more, there's no knowing what kind of repercussions changing the past like that might have. So, instead of pondering about useless things like that, he vowed to accept his wrongdoings and make the best of them. Learn whatever he could from them and move on with that newly acquired knowledge.

That's why he always kept in mind what he was told after the biggest mistake of his life. You're not in love with me, your character is in love with the character I play, it's not real. If he could not love for real, he would give it up and strengthen his heart instead. In the future, he would focus on important things instead of silly stuff like feelings. At least, that had been the plan.

Things never go as you want them to go.

There was only one fateful encounter needed to ruin his plan. A handsome rookie-actor sitting in the corner with a nervous smile on his face. The moment Mew saw him, he knew he had to protect him.

And protect him he did. At first only for working matters, he started spending more and more time with the other. Those days slowly lengthened into evening calls, and dinners during their days off. It was no surprise to himself when they became friends, since they easily clicked with the other even though they had their differences. Maybe it was a bit surprising how easily they both fell for the other, but Mew never bothered to think about it. He was too in love to care.

It seems the world didn't allow Mew to simply be happy. He never forgot that warning he once was told. It kept haunting him the back of his mind at his happiest moments, until at one point two years in their marriage, he had to start confronting it. He could no longer ignore the feeling that maybe there was something wrong with him loving Gulf. Maybe it was as the warning said, maybe it truly wasn't real. After all, that little voice in the back of his mind kept repeating so.

If his love wasn't real, it wasn't nice to string Gulf around like that. If his love wasn't real, it might even be the same for the younger. Those were the thoughts he had in mind when he was planning to end it all.

Things never go as you want them to go.

Waking up that morning to a Gulf who didn't remember him, who kept saying he had no idea who the other was, made all his plans flow away like water. Although he realized Gulf might be lying to stay together, inside he knew his nong wasn't a person like that. So maybe, if there was some supernatural force out for him, then this was how they planned to punish Mew. Or maybe, this was how they fulfilled his wish.

Without his Gulf there, it felt like a fresh breath of air. Yes, he still had to worry about their relationship to the public and their future jobs, at least he didn't have to actually confront his Gulf and didn't have to continue pretending to be in love. The voice in his mind also stopped repeating the same sentence.

Instead, it started saying something else.

While he didn't have to confront his Gulf, this Gulf was more than ready to confront him. It was weird, since he had gotten to know the younger, more docile and sweeter, always trying his best to avoid big fights with Mew and make up as soon as possible. This Gulf on the other hand was more daring, spoke his mind and wanted to know the truth without any soft padding around it. It was scary yet satisfying to speak his mind like that. Without realizing, he started to wish he could've done the same with his Gulf. He should've done so. But it was too late now.