And ended with a Kiss

Part 1

I awoke confused as to where I was. I tried to lift my head but to no avail. I heard the beeping of machines, and the stomping of footsteps. My head felt like it was about to explode, and my body felt heavy and limp. 

I could hear a lady's voice but I couldn't make out whose voice it was. 

"We will do everything we can to save them both but you need to speak to her about the complications if she continues with this. I'Il be back in 20 mins to check her, she's ok for now." 

"Thanks doctor "

Doctor? I wondered. Why did he say doctor. Where was I? The last thing I remember was Nathaniel's court case. Oh my gosh. The court case. Everything after the verdict was a blur to me and I couldn't fit the pieces together. 

I winced in pain and I heard Nathaniel's footstep quicken to my aid. 

"Baby? Are you ok? How you feeling?" 

"Where am I?"

"Baby don't talk to much you need to rest ok." 

"I'm ok Hun, where are the kids?"

"Baby please stop talking. They are ok. They are with Ria. They're on their way here. So go to sleep and I'll wake you up when they get here. You don't want to look tired when they arrive do you ?!"

"Promise?"

"Yes promise. Now sle....."

Before he finished talking I felt my eyes lids grow heavy and myself drift off back to sleep. 

While I slept I dreamt I was sitting outside the cottage that Nathaniel took me too for our mini vacation only this time, Niva and Noah were there. I looked out on the veranda as my family laughed and played. In that moment I felt that anything was possible. Nathaniel looked at me and smile. 

"Baby? Wake up. Niva and Noah are here."

"Mummy. Wake up. Mummy." 

I heard their echoed voices and followed Noah's angelic voice back to reality. I opened my eyes and smiled. 

Noah smiled and grabbed Niva and hopped on the my bed. As they lay with me none of them saying a word I couldn't help but smile as I drew them closer to my side. 

"Baby. Wake up. Noah and Niva have to go. They will be back in the morning."

I had drifted off to bed again. My body felt so tired and weak and every movement took so much energy. What was happening to me ?

"Hey baby. How you feeling?"

"I'm ok. Still a bit tired."

"Baby we need to talk."

I looked at him worryingly.

"What's wrong hun?"

"Baby your pregnant!"

As the words left his mouth I noticed that he looked more terrified then excited. I didn't know if he was happy that we were having a baby or if he was upset that I had gotten pregnant. Maybe another baby is too much for him. 

I cried and looked at him. Now his face looked confused. 

"I can tell by the look of your face you don't want this baby. It's ok I can raise this baby by myself."

"Are you crazy? Stop saying things like that Shaye. I told you I'm all in. I will never leave you no matter what. You'll have to kill me in order for me to leave you. Now I never want you to say that again. I've always wanted more kids and it's even better that it's with you." 

I smiled but the look on his face stayed the same. I was starting to get frustrated. 

"If your all in and you say that you want to have a baby then why the hell is your face like that? Your saying this but your face is saying something totally different."

"BECAUSE SHAYE ! We can't keep this baby..."

I cringed at his words. And before I knew it I slapped him so hard on the face my hand stung from the impact. Was he serious? After everything that we had being through he was going to tell me that I couldn't keep my baby. The hell with that. 

'GET OUT NATHANIEL!' I screamed. 

"Baby listen to me."

I had already turned my back on him and was facing the wall. I had so much anger that he would even contemplate that I would 'get rid' of my child. I didnt want him near me if this was how he was going to act. 

"Baby. Turn around we need to talk. Turn around and face me dammit. Im not gona talk to your back."

I spun around wanting him to just say what he had to say and leave. I looked at him while he rubbed his cheek that had now turned red. He didnt look angry at what I did yet I could see the saddness in his eyes. 

"What is it Nathaniel? What do you want to tell me? Say your piece and then please leave. I need to rest, so please just say it and go. Tell me why you dont want our baby." 

As the words left my lips I felt my heart break. It all seemed surreal. I felt my chest about to burst and then a stabbing pain shooting through my insides. I grabbed at my stomach as the pain became unbearable. I heard myself scream 

"Nurse. Nurse."

I awoke, pain now gone. A familiar voice caught my attention

"...help me Lord. I need you now more then ever. Tell me what to do, show me a sign. Please Lord I cant lose her and I know she will chose to keep our baby even though she knows shes sick and this pregnancy may kill her. Lord help her see reason. Please dont take my baby away from me. Please Lord Please please pleas...."

The words no longer audible and his sobs taking over his prayer. I could hear the desperation in his cry. My heart ached for him. But what did he mean. Was I sick? 

"Baby, are you okay?"

"Hun whats wrong with me? Whats wrong with my baby?"

"Baby your sick. While the doctors were doing the ultrsound to check on baby they found a cyst on your left ovarie. Baby they need to remove it before it turns into cancer but if they do the surgery they will need to remove baby in order to get to the cyst."

I stayed quiet, dumbfounded at the words that was coming out of his mouth. 

"Its either you or the baby. We can try again but I cant lose you."

I looked into his eyes and said a silent prayer before I gave him a slight smile. I was keeping my baby no matter what. This baby was my gift from God. I was now the vessel for my baby to grow in. I will not let this baby down. Nathaniel knew by my expression I had already made my decision.

"I want to go home..."