Take my heart

Chapter XXII

The days leading up to Connor's birthday are nothing short of a roller-coaster. One day everything seems to be wrong, Connor shows up to school with dark circles under his eyes and his hair unkempt, he eludes Caesar's questions and keeps his distance. The next day, there's still a sad weight to his frame, but he forgets about distance and clings to Caesar the whole time they're together. That's more normal for when he's not feeling great, but Caesar can't yet figure out just what's wrong.

Things slowly get better as the days go by—Connor goes from looking like a storm to looking mostly like himself, if a little stilted. Caesar takes to sighing a hundred times a day (like a lovelorn fool, Ash comments) but lets him do as he pleases.

It's decided that, for Connor's eighteenth birthday, they're having a sleepover just the four of them first and a proper party later. And they go through with it, which is how Caesar finds himself in this situation.

The situation being, this close to spontaneously combusting into flames out of physical proximity alone. You see, the thing is, Connor always gets rather handsy during his birthday. Darren lets him, because, even if he won't start it himself, he thrives on affection. On the contrary, it drives Adryan insane, so they deal with a lot of grumbling and kicking on these occasions.

But Caesar is Connor's favorite, they all know that much. Hence 'the situation': he's either gonna die, or do something stupid (and then die anyway).

For the past hour, Connor's arm has been draped over his shoulders, the boy himself pressed flush against his side. His laughter pours on Caesar's neck like molten glass, his nose brushes his hair, his low voice vibrates through every last one of his nerves. It's only thanks to all his experience that he manages not to blush, but if it weren't for that, his face would be every shade of red. Connor would have fun naming them, at least.

Is he doing it on purpose? Has he figured out the effect he has on Caesar and is now using it to his amusement?

At first, it doesn't seem likely, because Connor is not mean like that.

Doesn't seem likely, until he goes and does something like trailing his fingers along Caesar's bare wrist, absentmindedly, as he talks about who knows what to the others. He endeavors to pay attention, he really does, but Connor knows him too well—he presses on every sensitive spot, runs his nails over his veins... oh that's giving Caesar terrible, delightful ideas.

When Darren gets up to grab the ice cream from the freezer, he jumps to his feet and follows into the kitchen, with the excuse of bringing spoons and whatever. In reality, it's only to give himself a chance to breathe.

The kitchen is in full view from the living room where they're hanging out, only separated from it by a breakfast aisle. During the whole time, Connor's gaze only moves from the back of his head to land on his right shoulder, and then it clings to his every movement as he opens the freezer for Darren and grabs the spoons from a drawer. He tries to ignore it as he takes his seat once more, but remaining calm becomes rather difficult when any resemblance of space between him and Connor promptly vanishes.

They get their scoops of ice cream right before Adryan speaks up.

"I've decided how I wanna propose to Dawn."

"Ugh!"

Connor slaps his forehead at the same time Caesar leans back on the couch in defeat. Adryan glares and complains about having shitty friends, to which Connor replies they're not shitty for trying to make him see reason. Darren ends up being the only one willing to listen.

Having them both immersed in conversation gives Connor and Caesar a chance to have one of their own. Connor flops on the backrest of the sofa and his hand lands on Caesar's thigh, burning through his pants. Swallowing, Caesar nudges him and gestures with his eyebrows. 'Did you like my gift', just to divert his attention. It works as a double-edged sword when Connor beams at him, complete with disarming dimples and wrinkles around the eyes. Though it's well deserved: the gift is an old as fuck porcelain vase that cost him three human lives and a deal with the devil. He's gotten laid for way less.

Not that that's what he wants, but.

Connor pats his foot with one of his own twice, Caesar rolls his eyes but complies, lifting his left arm and letting the boy curl on his side. They sigh contentedly at the same time. Connor's hand is still on his thigh, which. It's nothing.

Adryan says something idiotic then, making Darren drop his back on the floor out of exasperation. Caesar turns his head to muffle a snicker in his friend's hair, but what he gets instead is a boy that does a sharp intake of breath as he's overcome by a shiver. He freezes for a moment, his lips ghosting over the side of Connor's head. Everything seems normal the second later, so he shrugs it off and leans more of his weight on Connor.

Pure and unadulterated want is what drives him insane the whole night. Every touch and look from Connor threatens to set him ablaze, but he lets it happen anyway, because if he can't have more, he'll take anything he's offered. It's greedy, he knows, yet he couldn't care less. Rich people are greedy like that.

Truth is, if he was allowed, he'd take everything, and give everything in return. He'd open up his chest and let Connor climb inside his heart, where he'll be safe and have a place til the end of times. At this point, it's unbelievable it's taken him so long to realize.