Tips for trans guys

Parents

I was born in a messed up century , my favorite flavored sweets are raspberry ampheta...

Sorry, I let myself go. Its... Its a song, ya know. Well.

So, yeah, I asked your opinion, and I had the idea to wait for your answers and all, but basically, it's late, everybody at home is sleeping but me, and I can't sleep at all. I have to keep my mind busy, and writing here seemed to be a good idea for me.

So. Parents... I have parents you know ? A mother and a father. They smoke a lot, and are very strange, sometimes they just hug me, and some other times, they shout at me, screaming that i am crazy, that I am a shit and they are gonna leave me, abandon me and my brother and sister and it will be all my fault...But hey, I guess it's normal, right? I never really have another family so...

BREF. (yes, it's french. I am just too tired for english right now)

Parents can be stupids, and cruels, especially when you are part of the LGBT(q+? that's it?) community. I came out to them so many times, I don't even count anymore...

Some I see on internet and all that shit are so supportive, and adorable.. I am asking myself if that kind of parents really exist.. 

My parents say that I can't be a guy, because basically, for my father, I should like football, and sexuals jokes, and all that shit, like, that's him that tell me I am just a woman and i can be one without being a stereotype, and to be a man, i have to be a freaking warrior, eating fire, destroying everything, treating women like objects/animals ?! 

After a lot of coming outs, tonight they called me "girl", "ma'm", saying that I am a "beautiful lady". And you know what? It kind of destroyed my mood, but I don't have the balls to ask something else, I feel like I am just too weak.

So this chapter, I don't know if it can help, but it is basically here to remind you you are not alone in this hell. It is not your parents due to tell you who you are, nobody but you have that right. You may think you are weak, you may think you are false, you are wrong. But man, you are so strong. You survived, you are surviving. For the moment, you are suffering, and I would like to remind you that it's okay to let it all out. But soon, so very soon, it'll stop.  You will be yourself, completly, you'll have the life you want, and even your parent(s) will have to recognzize the handsome and beautiful guy you are.

Don't listen to them. Don't let them make you feel guilty, you are not guilty. All you are doing is trying to be yourself and that's a thing that should be encouraged. You deserve to be love, to be understand, to be who you are.

You don't have to know what to say, you don't have to protest, you don't have to be brave all the time : You are a fucking human, and you know what? Humans are having emotions, and no one can stay brave all the time. The one that seem to be like that are in reality broke inside. (And it is okay to be broke, because then you can be fix.)

And if it is too much, you can also be in need to make some space between you and your parent(s). You can totally spend less time with them if they make you feel bad, it is totally okay.

You could:

-Go outside for a walk : Just you and the world, where you can think, relax, let all this out.

-Go to your room (or a room that you can be alone in)where you can just scream into a pillow, cry if you need it (not all tears are bad), punch your bed (please, no people or animals, execpt in self defense/ defense of a loved one that is visibely in danger).

-Put your headphones at a high volume and freacking scream (or not) the lyrics. Music is a good way to get out of pain sometimes, it can also be a way to express it.

-Draw your feelings, paint them, write them, make them a song, a book, anything you want.

-Talk to someone. Your beloved grandma, your friend, sister/brother, your uncle... Your cat, your fish, yourself? Anybody that you love and know that they love you back. 

Well, I think that's all. 

Take care of yourself, be yourself, be kind to yourself.

(I don't know if what I am suppose to write down is too feminine or too "caring" but in fact I don't care)

I give virtual hugs to all people that are in need of a hug, and a lot of love and support.

(i am sorry , thought it was cute, and I think it is maybe because i am tired, i may regret it)