Holding His Ale

Chapter Two

"Mr J!" Harley called, carrying large mounds of shopping bags like bundles in her arms. "Mr J! You home?"

There was no answer.

What did she expect? A loving "yoo-hoo"? Or a little surprise like her dear Puddin' hiding behind the door, waiting for her to find him...

No. Of course not. She didn't expect that. She never did on a Friday night.

As she made her way through the back door to the Fun House hideout, she dumped the bags of groceries and supplies in the kitchen area, the henchmen could sort it out in the morning. She glanced at her wristwatch when she noticed Bud and Lou dozing in their usual corner of the kitchen, snoring loudly.

"Eleven? Wow, I guess Ivy tricked me with the clock gag again... But still... the babies are always active at night... Why are they asleep now?" she whispered to herself, turning away and shrugging it off.

Harley gasped as she reached the alcove through to the main hideout, realizing she'd not turned on a single light when she tried to make her way through the Fun House in the dark (not so easy with Mr J's death traps every here and there).

It wasn't long until she noticed she was back by the kitchen again and she cursed herself, knowing she was going to be stuck until Joker came back from his Batman escapades. Which could in fact, be until Monday - a whole weekend away.

She sighed. She knew that she should have persuaded Joker to install more than one light switch for the main Fun House...

There was suddenly a noise of a door opening - what she recognised as the bedroom door. Every noise echoed in the Fun House, that's why Harley liked it so much, it reminded her of a cave... but this sound made her alert, for she knew that no one was supposed to be there, apart from her.

Harley held her arms up in front of her in a fighting stance, and she slowly followed the vibration of flat footsteps, everything a big block of black in front of her.

A sigh echoed around her and she felt her blood pump faster; she could hear her heart beat in her ears, the blood was rushing to her head.

The steps were close now and the outline of a vaguely human figure came into view, Harley's eyes narrowing. She crept a little closer, realizing she was probably behind them because they hadn't attacked her first.

She raised a single arm, a little smirk on her red lips. "Think you can trespass on Mr J's turf do ya?! Ha! Think again!"

"Whaaaa - ?"

Harley struck the figure's face as they turned to face her, and they let out a familiar agitated growl.

There was a click and the lights flickered on.

Harley's eyes widened in shock.

There was her Mr J, hand poised over the light switch, left cheek glowing scarlet. He was scowling and his shoulders were tensed.

For once he didn't look too happy.

"Harrr-ley!" he growled menacingly, dropping his arm from the switch to gesture dramatically. "What the hell did you do that for?!"

"Y-You ain't here on Fridays! I-I thought you was someone snoopin' around -"

"So this is what you do on Fridays huh? You beat up guys in the dark?!" he spat, placing a palm on his head as he scrunched his face up in a wince, like he was tired or in pain - or both. "And why are you out of your usual get-up?"

He sighed, he really wasn't in the mood for an answer.

"I can't go out shopping in my costume Mr J... The cops would be on me like wild - "

"I know what! Now shut the hell up! I'm going to bed!"

She widened her eyes as she trailed them down his figure, finally noticing he was in his vest and boxers, which he normally slept in... she would have realized sooner if she hadn't been so mortified about what she'd done.

Joker turned, about to turn the lights off again, holding the stern, irritated look on his face.

"I'm sorry Mr J..." Harley murmured, bottom lip trembling.

Joker took a deep breath and closed his eyes, opening them again as he felt his face relax. "Go to bed Harl." he ordered calmly, not even glancing back at her.

"But Mr J - "

"I said go to bed! Now!" he yelled, spinning around to glare at her with those wickedly green eyes.

She gulped and scurried at record pace towards their bedroom door, hidden behind a giant, singed clown sculpture (it blocked the eye's view, so anyone like Batman rarely knew that it was there).

The lights blinked off as Joker made his way after her, muttering and grumbling to himself as he went.