Survive, if you can // John Murphy

//35// Exit

WARNINGS: violence, swearing, addiction.

You can do this. Just put her on her ass like you've done for the past three mornings. She's giving me that look like she's fed up with my winning. She must know that I'm making a fool of her. Even if we're the only ones here. Well, sometimes Marcus joins us but not today. She doesn't know he's my father. I think she just assumes we're friends or something.

Raven and Echo have been fighting. They've been discussing our departure from this place. I know that they've planted the drive. All it took was a little distracting from me and they managed it. Now all we have to do is escape this place with our collars still somehow on. I've been getting closer to Diyoza and I think I'm winning her trust (just like most battles we have). Though I'm not certain she's that sure of me. She doesn't fully trust me even though we've spent the last three mornings sparring. Now we're doing what we always do. We circle each other cautiously and carefully.

I frown. "Are you attacking or not?"

"By all means, make your move," she says, shrugging just a bit.

I sigh, rushing forward and sending my fist to her face. She blocks, punching my stomach. I recover quickly, grabbing her shoulder and kneeing her in her own stomach. She gasps loudly, backing away from me and holding her belly.

"What? What's wrong?" I ask fast, stepping closer to her.

She unzips her jumpsuit angrily, revealing a pregnant belly beneath it. "My baby is what's wrong."

"Why the hell didn't you tell me? I would've avoided your gut-"

"I didn't want you to go easy on me," she says, straightening herself out.

"You should go to Abby. She'll check that everything's okay," I advise, nodding.

"Right," Diyoza says unsurely. "And you'll go back to the church?"

"I promise," I say, nodding still.

She smirks a bit before walking out of the field we spar in. Tall grass, wildflowers, dandelions. It's quite beautiful especially since I haven't seen it in six years. But I can't stay staring at it all day. Raven or Echo could need me. So, I walk quickly back to the church. The murderers and thieves give me smirks as I pass but I ignore them. They must think I'm older than twenty four. That, or they just don't care.

I walk up the stairs and through the arched door and immediately freeze in place. John is laying on the bed next to Echo's. I'm about to smile wide when he glances at the guards then back at me. He shakes his head in the tiniest way, clenching his jaw tersely. I nod back, looking to my shoes then sitting on the end of the bed across from his. I try to keep my eyes off him but it's difficult. I distract myself by taking notice of who else is new. No one.

My eyebrows raise at John in question of Emori who I know he was with. He swallows hard, eyes falling to my chest as he shakes his head slowly. I let out a breath, covering my mouth with my hand and feeling the tears coming fast. The thieves would only find it suspicious. Instead, I clear my throat and lay back to look at the ceiling. The tears pour back into my eyes this way. We never did figure shit out. Now I'll never know if we could've. Don't think about it at the moment. When I'm alone and emotionally available, that's when I'll think of her.

_•_•_

"Trig, kei?" I whisper to John as we stand with our backs to the long table with food on it.

He grabs an apple and takes a deep bite. "Kei."

I nod. "Emori...don dula em bash op?" Did it hurt?