Breathe Me Back To Life •Patrick Stump+Fall Out Boy•

Chapter Sixty: Every Ounce I Have, I Invest In You

||Patrick Stump|| First Person|| 

I unzip my black Jansport backpack and open it up, showing the security guards the contents. It was a policy to make sure that there weren't any weapons being snuck into the amusement park, so I don't get upset when one of the guards move around some of the innards of my bag. They finally wave me off to go through and into Canada's Wonderland, officially. I walk forward but come to a halt, turning around and watching Cole, who was right behind me, open up her red bag and move around her belongings. Her bangs fall over her face as she dips her head, nodding and smiling at the worker. The way her eyes twinkle when she glances at me, saying a thank you to the security as they allow her in, makes my heart skip a beat. My palms and fingers alike were clammy just thinking about what I'd be doing.  

Am I really going to do this? Am I really going to vow to spend the rest of my life with this girl? 

Yes. 

Absolutely, positively, yes. 

There's no question about it. Cole Wentz is what I'd like to call the love of my life. She's not the first girl that I've ever loved, but she's the first one that I've ever loved this way. I can't just explain to you the feelings I get when she's even in the same building as me. Just looking at her and knowing that she loves me just as much as I love her makes my stomach do somersaults and my face flush. It's so funny how a month or two ago, I was worrying about marrying Elisa Yao, maybe having a kid with her, because that's what we had planned. Actually, that's what she had planned, and what I was unsure of, almost blindly agreeing to sealing my vows to her. It's so strange how off course we got, but now, I'm sure. There is no maybe and there is no I don't know. I have no single doubt in my mind that I want- scratch that, I need her. If love is forever, I need her forever like I need air to breathe. And I know this sounds cheesy and ridiculous, but it makes sense to me. It makes sense to do what I plan to do and ask her for her hand in marriage. I know we won't get married straight away, maybe stay engaged for three years maximum, but just knowing that I can slide a ring on her finger and see that ring as a symbol that she's mine and I'm hers right now has kind of pumped me up. It's so scary yet exciting to imagine her walking down that aisle, ready to start a life with me and forget the past. It's so terrifying but inspiring to think that if she wants to, we could start a family together. Just imagining holding our newborn baby in my arms... 

I may or may not be getting ahead of myself. 

And the thing is, Cole and I haven't been official for a long time. We've been best friends for the longest time- since she was fifteen and I was eighteen. I know her like the back of my hand, as does she. It doesn't matter that we haven't been boyfriend and girlfriend for a year, because if you ask me, it feels like we've been dating for longer. I mean, we might as well have, and I'm sure I would have made a move earlier if it weren't for finding out that she was in a relationship with the asswipe. 

And our love is different, if I'm not being cheesy enough for you. It's like we're on the lift hill to the top of the roller coaster, heading for the point where we throw our arms up and scream. But rather than dreading getting on and wishing desperately to get away, we're inhaling the adrenaline and focusing on enjoying the ride. And again, that makes no sense, so ignore that part. My nerves are just bad. 

She's my Perfect Porcelain. 

"Excited?" I say when Cole is wrapping her arms around my waist and leaning into my side. I wrap my arm around her shoulders, yawning absentmindedly after checking the time. Ten AM. We got here at the time Pete wanted us to be, got through sound check with all of the bands plus New Politics and All Time Low at Kingswood Theatre, and now we have some downtime to have fun until tonight. Or this evening, to be specific.