explosion (jay halstead / one chicago)

chapter 34

liz's pov

"How long is it for?" I questioned. I was currently cuddled up to Jay on the couch, and he had just told me that he was going undercover – the full programme, including an undercover apartment and not being able to meet anyone. It didn't necessarily bother me. Of course, I would miss seeing him, would miss him picking me up from the academy, or falling asleep in his arms. But I wasn't the person to freak out about being separated for a few weeks. I knew what I signed up for when I started dating a cop, I trusted him, and he promised he would call when he got the chance.

However, I couldn't help but be a bit worried. I had noticed Jay acting strange lately. There was something on his mind that he still didn't dare to tell me, and it was certainly nothing good. I couldn't shake the feeling that it had something to do with this uc run, and because of that, the thought of letting him go troubled me.

"We can't tell yet," Jay confessed. "However long it takes for me to win these people's trust and get useful information." I nodded. Weeks, probably. Or months. "I'll miss you," he whispered, placing a soft kiss on my forehead. He had sobered up a little, and I smiled at him. "I bet," I answered with an amused laugh as I noticed his eyes linger on my fairly see-through white sleeping shirt for a second too long.

I moved over to sit in his lap with my legs apart and placed on either side of his body. Then I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him towards me so I could crash my lips on his. I closed my eyes and enjoyed Jay's touch as one of his hands wandered to my ass barely covered by the thin fabric of my slip, and his other hand found its way under my shirt. I would definitely miss him, too.

Suddenly thinking of something else, I quickly pulled back before I got too caught up in the moment. "Why you?" I questioned. They usually had other people doing these lengthy undercover things, right? I knew that Jay had been undercover more often prior to joining Intelligence.

I immediately regretted asking when I saw something change in the way he looked at me. As if someone switched off a light in his eyes. "I've been undercover with that crew before, so they know me," Jay stated. I could tell he was trying to say it casually, but he failed. He had history with these people. Although I didn't know what kind of history, it made sense. The dots were starting to connect in a way I didn't like. Whatever was bothering him, it probably had to do with this undercover thing, meaning that it could only get worse.

Jay must have noticed my concern, or my thoughtful face at least, because he smiled at me. "Don't worry, okay?" he asked. "Everything will be fine, and I'll be back soon." In lack of a better answer, I simply nodded. "I'll miss you too," I whispered, repeating his words from earlier. I knew that our relationship relied heavily on never pressuring the other person to talk, so I trusted him instead. If he said there wasn't a problem, then the best I could do was believe him, and hopefully make our last night together for the time being a memorable one.

"We still got tonight," Jay noted with a cheeky grin, as if he read my mind. I pressed my lips against his in response, continuing where we left of and sliding my tongue inside his mouth this time. My skin was burning where his hands made contact with my body, and there were a million tiny fireworks exploding inside my stomach as I melted into his touch.

He breathlessly pushed me back for a split second to pull my shirt off, and I pressed myself harder against him. I buried my hand in his hair while I tilted my head back when he started to suck on my nipple. A moan escaped my mouth as I felt his erection against me. In a swift movement, he picked me up and turned us so that I was laying on the couch and he was on top of me, where I hurried to pull down his pants because I was craving his touch, and I needed to feel him inside me.

Just a few months back, I would have thought this was impossible, that I could never sleep with, let alone date a cop after all that happened. Back then, I cursed myself for liking this guy with his deep green eyes, his freckles, his cute laugh and his irresistible charm, because I didn't think Jay and I could ever work. Today, I was beyond grateful to myself for trying, not only because I didn't know how things would have gone without him, but also because he was everything to me.

"I love you," Jay whispered against my lips, and I opened my eyes for a moment to meet his. "I love you, too," I answered, and these words had never in my life been more true. I loved him with all my heart. I wanted him tonight, but I also wanted him every day and night, for eternity. I wanted this to be the one thing in my life to last. I wanted us to become forever.

jay's pov

"You guys hear me?" I asked quietly. "Positive, hear you loud and clear," Adam replied through my earpiece. I was currently sitting inside a bar that Sienna's crew used to hang out at during my time undercover with them. They had switched locations since, but according to our investigation, Sienna still paid this place a visit every Tuesday. I knew why.

"She's coming, Jay," Erin announced. I took a deep breath. Alright. I had to play this professionally. Act like my head wasn't completely fucked and I knew exactly what I was doing. Like I was just casually enjoying a good drink on a Tuesday night. I took a sip from my beer, staring down at my phone and pretending to not notice the girl entering the bar, although her presence accelerated my heartbeat even after all these years. I heard her heels klick on the wooden floor and...

"Ryan?" the all too familiar voice asked. I glanced up at her with my best look of fake irritation, followed by surprise, before I finally plastered a lazy smile on my face. "Sienna," I exclaimed. My stomach clenched as she batted her long eyelashes at me, and her piercing blue eyes stared right into mine with excitement. "Who would have thought I'd ever see you again," she said. Definitely not me. I nodded silently and motioned for her to sit on the other side of the table. Just not too close. She did, throwing her wavy blonde hair over her shoulder in a swift movement. She looked older. No, not necessarily older. More mature. "Since when are you back in Chicago?"

I shrugged, then took another sip from my beer. "A week, maybe?" I answered. A smile spread on Sienna's face. "And already you're hanging out here as if all those years never passed." I faked a laugh. "Maybe I missed the old times," I hinted. "Tuesday is our day, remember?"

It hurt to say these words, simply because they were true. Sienna and I had spent every Tuesday night getting drunk together right here, at this bar. I didn't necessarily miss those times – I knew that our relationship was a huge mistake, and I was doing way better now than when I first joined the police. Hell, I even had the most amazing girlfriend in the whole world.

But still, this bar, coming here on a Tuesday night, seeing Sienna... It all had something tempting to it, the memory of what was my escape back then, maybe our both escape. And the memory that it was all a lie and that I ultimately ditched the girl I loved for the job I loved just a slight bit more.

Sienna pulled my beer over the table and took a sip, not bothering to order one for herself. I knew that she came here every Tuesday now, and while I silently prayed it was for some other reason, I also knew that it was in hopes to see me again one day. Because this place, on a Tuesday night, was where she would think Ryan would go. Tuesday is our day, remember?

Sienna pushed the bottle back over, her hand brushing against mine casually and sending a shiver through my body, although I so badly wished it wouldn't. Then she smiled at me widely. "How could I ever forget?"

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jay better knows what he's doing there... hope you enjoyed this chapter! thank you so much for reading and leave a vote or comment if you like! ❤️