The Last Of Us | tk ✓

review by axel

so, many moons ago,
axel read my book and
reviewed it (when ive
written somewhere about
twenty chaps), as i asked.

since she yeeted the review
book off her profile, it was
only fit to publish it here.
do enjoy, my readers,
and love for axel, always.
(theasianidiot ♡)
________

TITLE: 5

COVER: 5 (lend me your skills)

DESCRIPTION: 5

FIRST CHAPTER: 5

I have done nothing but praise you in this review, so I apologize if you were expecting criticism. Bruh, there was nothing to criticize about your book; I swear to God I hate you. Moving on, the first chapter was the perfect opening for your book. The chapter begun with a little background about the main MC before we dived straight in to the plot. *chef's kisses* Perfection.

PLOT: 8.5

You already had put the disclaimer that this plot was not from your imagination; it was based on a videogame. So I am deducting a point for that :")

But Joy, c'mon, give yourself a little credit. You executed the plot perfectly. And it takes effort to do so; you had to plan the whole story with your own characters, divide the plot equally between your chapters, tweak it a bit to suit the readers' taste and what not. For me, this sounds like one hell of a work. I swear you are too modest.

The pacing of the story was fantastic, too. It was neither too fast nor too slow. Pivotal scenes were present in plenty, and the overall editing + presentation was pretty neat. Your banners were pleasing to the eyes, lemme tell you that.

CHARACTERIZATION: 9.5

As I am writing this, I am wondering why I am writing this.

Ahem.

I wanna adopt Jungkook and Taehyung.

Okay, Axel, please shut up.

Right.

Jungkook was such a well-developed character. You could see the subtle changes in his personality right from the beginning as the chapters progressed by. Taehyung, Mamma Mia, had my heart. Honestly, a well-rounded character for such a plot. Slide me in some lessons, will ya?

Also, I know the whole setting was inspired by the videogame, but you did such an amazing job blending all the different characteristics together; the end result was an action-packed unputdownable book.

WRITING STYLE: 8.5

Ah okay, Joy, don't mind me being a crabby old grandma.

Aight so, Joy bb, your story relied heavily on descriptions of the characters' immediate surroundings and their foes. In short, most of your focus went on providing exact and thorough descriptions of objects/scenery/zombies.

And as we progressed further, your chapters were getting strenuous to read. Not because they were boring - oh hell no - but because your texts were extra-long and full of heavy words. To balance this, I think you could maybe increase the number of dialogues in your story; the seesaw was leaning heavily towards hard-hitting descriptions than being balanced between descriptions and dialogues.

For example: suppose Jungkook sees a building - an old building. You can describe it in third person. Saying stuff like "Jungkook saw an old building with crumbling walls and ivy-plastered pipes" or "the garden was overgrown with weeds."

No problem here. But then again, descriptions tend to get overbearing.

You can have Jungkook describe the building to Taehyung like: "Wow, Taehyung look at that! The building is uglier looking than those fucking zombies."

You can also add a subtle tone of humour to maintain the interest of your readers.

GRAMMAR/PUNCTUATION: 9

Sir, you are the master here. I have no words of wisdom to offer. //bows head in reverence//

OVERALL: 55.5 / 60

This is the highest score I've ever given to someone in the two years I was here on Wattpad. Why are you even here, sensei. Go publish your book smh.