Inappropriate anger, impulsiveness and frequent mood swings may push others away, even though you want to have loving and lasting relationships.
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Like most people, I want to be loved. No... perhaps 'want' isn't the correct word. Crave. I crave being loved. I depend on it.
There are people who love me. I know there are. I've seen it, heard it, and felt it. The problem? The problem is me. I always seem to take that love and destroy it into nothing.
The smallest things will make me upset. Commanding me to do something, or making a dig at my intelligence. Each of my many insecurities are like tinderboxes, waiting for the smallest flame to make me explode.
I know it's a problem, I know that. I don't want to feel this way. I don't want to get angry. Never in my life have I physically assaulted someone out of anger, but my words can cut deep.
That's not the kind of person I want to be.
I don't want to be the person who's always snapping at others. I don't want to be the "oversensitive" one.
I don't want to keep accidentally pushing people away. Because one day, I'll drive away the one person I care about more than anyone else, and I don't know how I'll live with myself.
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MEMOIR OF THE SPLINTERED
Non-Fiction"Borderline personality disorder (BPD) is a serious mental illness that centers on the inability to manage emotions effectively. While some persons with BPD are high functioning in certain settings, their private lives may be in turmoil." ~~~ They s...
