Breathless...

𝗬𝗼𝘂, 𝗦𝗹𝘆 𝗦𝗶𝗺𝗼𝗻!

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Penny's  POV

Spending the last two days with all of Basil's words playing on a loop in my mind, and Simon's deafening silence: it was killing me. Actually eating at my brain. And what really shocked me was that Simon cheated on him. With Agatha. He doesn't kiss her in months. . . why would he do it now?

            It was a little too much to process. Especially when Simon wouldn't talk to me—or anyone. At all. But I can't do anything. I can't leave him. He's Simon. He lost both of them, he can't lose me as well. And I love him, this doesn't change that.

            I shake these thoughts out and pile some scones onto a plate for Simon to have with afternoon tea. Taking it back to our table, I put down the food and pour myself some tea, exhausted from all the classes today, getting lost in my head again. Getting caught up in my worry.

            "Penny!" I almost think I I'm imagining it. Simon's mouth is moving, forming words! It's shocking, he comes up behind me and throws his arms around my neck. I hold his hands near my collarbone, and lean back into him. Simon is so warm. Holding back a tear, I smile, because he has no idea how worried I was.

             "I need to tell you what happened, Pen," he whispers, pulling away, to plop down across me. I nod for him to continue. And the second he opens his mouth, he stuffs a goddamn scone in it. Simon is really good at making me forget how much I adore him. Raising my eyebrows in irritation, I watch as he flushes, swallowing the scones as I shake my head at him. I swear to Merlin, Simon Snow would hide scones in his fucking cheeks like a squirrel if he could!

              "He's mine," Simon says simply. As if that is supposed to explain everything. "I—well I kissed him quite a while ago. He was. . . he could've hurt Agatha, they were in the Wavering Wood. I heard her scream and followed it to Baz—" And I can't for the life of me keep my mouth shut, not around Simon.

             "He was going to hurt Agatha! And you kissed him?! Does that. . ." Simon has still been going on about Baz's evil since we were eleven. If he was about to hurt Agatha why kiss him?

             "Penny!" He's frowning at me now. What? I asked a valid question. But I stay quiet knowing Simon needs it to choke the words out.

             "He was hurt. He was as terrified as Agatha, it's not his fault she was clinging onto him when he was thirsty." A mixture of sadness, anger, and confusion plays on his face. If he crossed his arms he could pass for a six year old who just heard Father Christmas isn't real. "He was trembling, Penny. I—I only pinned him down with my eyes. I knew he didn't want to hurt her," he looks up right then, straight into my eyes. "He's scared of what he is, Penelope. All it took was a softer stare. . . he completely loosened. Then I just!—I couldn't help but kiss him."

             "You kissed a vampire. . . cool." It is cool. I wonder if Basil let him touch his fangs. And then I block the thought as more uncomfortable ones rise.

             "Oh, I didn't just kiss him," Simon somehow gracefully lifts his Roast Beef to his mouth, chewing slowly, with his mischievous blue eyes. . . Trust Si to traumatize me. And not just with numpties and goblins and the Humdrum now. I roll my eyes but look back at him excitedly.

             "Did you sleep with him?!" I know Baz already made some things clear, but I need details. As a good friend of course, I should be made aware.

            "No! I mean, I technically did. Well he slept in my arms every night does that count?" Simon jokes, feigning innocence and surprise. I swat at his arm, glowering. I must look like a raging, steaming kettle because Simon chokes out a laugh. He's laughing, and I can't help the smile that takes over. He hasn't laughed in so long.

           "We also did certain things in the night. That weren't centered on falling asleep," he's chuckling, and I urge him to continue.

           "Simon!! Tell me or else I'll spell you into a toad!" I think I just might, but it would require me to kiss him to turn him back. And ewww, kissing Simon is like kissing Premal or another brother of mine—and I almost throw up in my mouth thinking about it.

           "Well, y'know how Bazzy smokes?" He hooks his elbow over his chair, leaning back to look at me with raised brows and a small smile. I don't miss the affectionate slip. And I nod eagerly, almost inching forward in my chair every second. Aleister Crowley, Penny, calm down!

           "Well, Penelope, lets just say smoke isn't the only thing he blows," a sly smirk makes its way on Simon's lips, and he waggles his brows suggestively. He looks hilarious and I laugh, but I pause. He what Simon?!

           "Don't you look horrified," he chuckles, shoveling some more Yorkshire pudding into his mouth. His mouth. . . I accidentally picture the scene he painted for me, and I cannot with Baz naked! He just seems incapable of intimacy like that. He comes off too cold. But I mean. . . he was crying with his head on my shoulder a few days ago only.

          "Okay, wait, then what happened?" I rush. Because I need to hear it from Simon. Need to know if he cheated on Baz. He sucks in a breath and starts.

           "Agatha wasn't there when we kissed. She.  .  . I cheated on her." He looks down at his feet, under the table. A guilt overcomes his blue eyes. Wait. He cheated on Agatha? That explains why she's all the way across the Hall, and not right across me. Next to Simon.

          "Continue," I say as he watches me nervously, piecing it together. I grab his hand over the table to make sure he knows I'm not leaving. I'm not disgusted by him. I could never be. The closest I felt to disgusted was when he wouldn't stop talking while chewing. The closest to disappointment was when Baz started crying. I don't know how, but Baz dug a separate space in my heart for him.

           "So for the next few days or so Baz and I were lowkey together but not official." Sadness laces his voice. "He was going to ask me. To be his boyfriend. But I went to go see Agatha—to protect his secret and obviously apologize for cheating and break up with her. She kissed me before I got a word out! Kissed me, Penny!" Simon's eyes are blown wide, tense; he rakes a hand through his insane blond curls. I squeeze his other hand reassuringly and he looks at me, biting his lip.

            "Simon. . . ," I whisper gently.

           "He came right then. He thought I was kissing her. Thought I wanted it—why would I want that?! Why would I want anything but him?" A single tear flows down his cheek. "He wouldn't hear a word I said. Fucking bolted." He looks up at me with hard, angry blue eyes now. "I found him knocked out in the Catacombs. Bleeding. I carried him up to our room—"

           "Up the tower?! How are you that strong? He's literally bigger than you," he suddenly waggles his brows. Amateur. I roll my eyes lovingly.

           "You don't know for sure about that. But umm. . . I dunno, Pen. Whatever. So he woke up in my arms—have I ever told you he looks like a fucking angel in the night! The moonlight plays on his porcelain skin and, Penny, he fucking glows!" I give him an odd look at that. A why-is-this-relevant? look.

            "Alright, alright. So he said he threatened to 'Cat got your tongue' me, and then I didn't bother speaking much. Couldn't risk it—though I fought him, to stay. To let me stay and explain. He didn't give a fuck." He looks torn up. Dejected. "Anyway, he's been running from me since then. We need a plan." At that we lock eyes and the determination shines in his. My lips curl into a smirk.

              Suddenly we burst into maniacal cackling. Baz's cackles still make sense because he looks evil, but the entire Dining Hall turns to stare at the Chosen One and his partner in crime. And Simon and I laugh about that for the next twenty minutes—yes, yes we are positively deranged.