Close to heart.. far from arms...| Sasusaku

6. Orochimaru's hideout

Orochimaru's hideouts were far from comfortable. The musty damp smell, for the lack of ventilation in the underground chambers, clouded inside Sasuke's lungs, sending a wave of disgust through him. But that was the least of his problems. The biggest and most sickening being the presence of Kabuto. The freak medic often glanced at him with ominous, scrutinizing eyes, like he was looking at a piece of meat to be cut open. It sent chills down his spine, thinking of the unforeseen experiments he could be doing on him. Not that the raven would let him, but it could be done without his notice. Another problem being Orochimaru itself. Its lecherous eyes not only caused Sasuke to be wary of it but also made him doubt, in what sense did it need his body. But Sasuke brushed it off, knowing full well that it was not the place to be making sexual jokes. Long before he noticed, Sasuke started addressing the snake Sannin with 'it', dropping off the 'him.'

Rocky cavern, slippery on the edges with candles illuminating it to the bare minimum, Sasuke felt a strong sense of danger in just being there. Like a thousand snakes were waiting to devour him. He walked behind Orochimaru, followed by Kabuto as they talked about medicines and experiments, which the raven found not a least bit interesting. The Snake Sannin completely revamped the Uchiha's look, clothes that identified him as one of Orochimaru's, a turtleneck white shirt with long, loose sleeves, black loose pants stuffed inside long black sandles and a purple cloth wrapped around his waist by a coiled violet belt. Honestly, it was sickening, but he didn't refute. Fashion sense was the least of his priorities, and also, the outfit was comfortable for battle. The raven, though, had Orochimaru sew the Uchiha symbol on his back, much to the Snake's amusement at the task, and Sasuke's displeasure in asking him to do so. For the first time in his life, he wished he had learnt sewing.

One long month had passed since his last battle with the blonde Jinchuriki, as he got to know it just then, when orange chakra clock enveloped his body. The raven finally understood, how the weakest of them managed to defeat Gaara of the sand, Haku, and Sasuke himself. Yes, he knew that he would have been defeated in the last battle, or worse, killed, if Naruto hadn't shifted the trajectory of his jutsu, hitting his headband. With the rain washing down over them, Sasuke stood with his head lingering over Naruto's, a pained look shooting from his eyes at the thought of killing his best friend, which he couldn't. There were other reasons, but the Uchiha accepted that it was a man's pride, to not kill someone who was not fighting to kill, and also, that he didn't want to be his brother's pawn.

Sitting on his rocky bed, with a ragged piece of brown cloth, camouflaging with the surroundings, laying on top of it, the Uchiha frowned in deep thought.

He managed to choose a new path, albeit, through much pain. The thought of his obstinate friends hadn't left his mind even for an instant, the first week he was here. Although, it became less frequent with his packed training schedule and constant skimming through several hideouts, for the chance of being captured by tracking ninjas lingered every moment, Sasuke couldn't resist the thought sometimes. Instead of black, the colours of grey, pink and yellow shaded his mind when he closed his eyes. He was hell-bent on pushing them out of his way, and never to let them weaken him, but once or twice won't hurt. Though, this once or twice meant every night, laying on his bed, waiting for the exhaustion to pull him in a deep slumber. He couldn't though, as the nightmares of his past haunted him, and the environment didn't help. Sasuke seeing his clan murdered by Itachi, Naruto getting beat up by Haku, a disheveled Sakura facing the three sound shinobis, Sakura getting crushed in shukaku's grip, Sakura crying near the bench asking him not to leave. Sakura...

His mind trailed off to the rose-haired kunoichi and all he remembered was her being in pain, ignored by him, hurt by him. Somehow, it was always Sakura, the target of his frustration over Naruto and Itachi, the warming force that calmed him down, the one who penetrated within his self-built walls. He found himself oblivious to the fact that until now, she was always the subject of his rarely erupting emotions, whether happy or sad. She had closed in the gap between them, blanketing the darkness inside him with the bright light she radiated, filling his silence with pleasant chatter, melting the ice around his heart. But he pushed her away...

Sasuke clicked his tongue before covering himself with the sheets, not wanting to once again succumb into the guilt and fear of leaving her.

***

Sakura climbed in her bed, her small figure cocooned inside her blush blanket, tears staining her cheeks. It was her fault; she couldn't stop Sasuke from leaving, she was the reason her friends from the village were hurt, some even in near-death situations. It was because of her that Naruto had to go through so much pain. If she hadn't begged him to bring the Uchiha back, Naruto won't have pushed himself so much, while here she was only shedding tears over what happened. 

And for that reason, she decided to become strong, so that next time, she will be beside Naruto, giving him power instead of being protected by him. She had started learning medical ninjutsu with Tsunade, the fifth Hokage, for that seemed the most compatible job for her, healing people. She swore to herself that she would never let anyone else get hurt, and if they do, she would be there to heal them. Her master was the best medic in the Shinobi world, and one of the legendary Sannin, enough reason to justify her ardous training, as her torn knuckled and knees told. She was strong in training, strong in front of her parents, strong before people, but once she was alone, she became weak again. 

Every night, she cried herself to sleep, thoughts about Sasuke occupied her mind. What would Sasuke be doing? Had Orochimaru done something to him? Was he in pain, lonely, angry? Was he thinking about his home, his team, her? 

As if she knew the answers to these questions. Once again, she would rise tomorrow to an air that didn't feel Sasuke's presence. She would act like she was moving on with her life, train, smile, even laugh, but she won't be the least bit happy. Her thoughts would be claimed by the Uchiha, as if he was the rightful owner of her mind. He certainly was.

Was that what Sasuke felt when his clan was killed, his parents were killed, his brother left him? Was that what loneliness felt like? So overwhelmingly empty, as if she was nothing but an empty frame except for the bitter-sweet memories. Void, empty, hollow, and pained, she finally understood what being lonely felt like.