Break In My Heart

17. Comfort Crowd

"Comfort Crowd" by Conan Gray is attached above because I think it fits the vibe of this chapter, so give it a listen if you want to

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I'd managed to pull myself to my feet after a few moments sitting on the floor. In those seconds, minutes, and possible hours that passed by, my questions had remained unanswered, which made me anxious.

When I walked back into my bedroom Tyler was sitting on my bed, fully clothed. He had an apologetic look on his face that made my heart ache. None of this was his fault. It was mine.

"Hey," I softly said as I closed the door behind me, making sure to lock it behind me.

"Hey." His voice didn't carry its usual lightness and joy.

I walked over to him and planted myself on his lap, my legs wrapped around his waist and my face mere inches from his. Following what had just happened, the wise choice would've been to sit next to him and do the least gay thing possible. But the way one hand gently pressed against my lower back for support and cupped my cheek told me he didn't mind. The look in his eyes told me what he was about to say before his lips did. "I'm sorry, Addi," he whispered. "I messed things up between you and Kyra."

My eyebrows furrowed. "Tyler you didn't mess anything up. No one forced me to kiss you or to climb on you or do anything else that I did. So, all the blame falls on me."

The corners of Tyler's lips turned upward, but there was a weary look in his eyes as his hand dropped from my cheek. He broke eye contact. "If you want to break this off, I understand. I don't want to make things complicated."

"No," I quickly said as I brought his hand back to my cheek and kissed his palm.

He cocked his head to the side like an adorable puppy, making my chest warm. "But Kyra–"

"–and I are done," I finished. "We're done. That decision was made and I've moved on. Look, I know things are a bit complicated right now, especially with our standing, but I really wanna see where this goes. Maybe we'll be boyfriends one day, maybe we'll get married and have like a million children. Maybe we'll stay like this. I don't care. I just want to keep going...I mean if you want to. What just happened didn't just affect me, you're a part of it too." Suddenly it hit me and I had to resist the urge to face palm. I'd been so absorbed in me that I'd forgotten that I wasn't kissing the air when Kyra walked in. I'd been kissing him. Even though Kyra had mainly been focused on me, she'd seen him as well. He could be freaking out on the inside and holding it in for my sake.

I cupped his cheeks in my palms, running my thumbs gently across his jaw. "How are you? I know it was sudden, I didn't even expect her to come, I swear."

He bit his bottom lip. "I don't know. I think my mind is still trying to process it. I mainly feel guilty. I know you said that you two were separated before we got together or whatever, but the look on her face makes me feel bad for even liking you when you and she were together."

I felt guilt bloom in my chest. I felt guilty for having feelings about him while she and I were together, too.

"You shouldn't, Ty. As I said, you didn't do anything wrong. I'm the one who kissed you first after all. I mean, I would understand if you wanted to take a step back after what happened. I know you're not really out and I kinda indirectly outed you. Sorry."

He shook his head. "You didn't know, Addison. It's not like we had any warning or anything. Even if we did, I don't believe that you would do anything like this on purpose."

"Of course not," I confirmed as my eyes searched for my phone. It didn't make sense. Why did she just show up unannounced and how did she get up here with so little resistance from Papa or Padre? Unless Azzy opened the door, but she usually yelled up at me if someone was here for me.