Break In My Heart

51. Wait For Me

I was fighting back tears during the drive to the airport.

My chest was burning and my head felt like it was about to explode. The millions of words left unsaid crowed in my throat and threatened to choke me if I didn't let them escape. But it seemed like they'd just have to fill my throat and overflow. There was nothing that I could say that would keep him from leaving. All the begs and pleas would only make it worse. So, I simply held Tyler's hand tightly in my own as I laid with my head on his shoulder.

The car ride was silent with Papa and Padre in the front seats, Mr. Barnett in the middle row, and Tyler and I tucked away in the third row. Raindrops chased each other down the window like kids at recess, as if the world herself was sharing our grief. A suffocating heaviness was in the air pressing down on our chests and demanding to be felt. Demanding to hurt.

We'd made the most out of our last week together, but our days had now dwindled down to mere minutes until we were separated. However, despite the stomach-churning situation, I left a sense of relaxation as I sat with my head on his shoulder inhaling his familiar scent; a scent that I prayed to God I wouldn't forget. But He hadn't been answering my prayers up until this point and I was really starting to question if my pleas were falling unto deaf ears. If we were being played with like some children's toy. Padre always said that the Lord wouldn't put more on us than we could handle and that everything happened for a purpose, but what is the purpose? To see how much we could handle before we broke? To dangle the sweetness of freedom and love in front of Tyler's face just to violently rip it away again? That didn't sound like mercy to me.

As soon as the doubting thought filled my mind, I instantly felt bad. There was just too much going on and I...

I was luckily pulled from my thoughts when Tyler's grip suddenly tightened on my hand. The airport was steadily growing as we rapidly approached it, hungry and eager to take my king away from me. And there was nothing I could do but wait and pray for him to come back to me.

Within moments the car stopped and we were in front of his terminal. My vision blurred with tears but I quickly blinked them away. Crying wouldn't stop anything. It hadn't helped up until now anyway.

I felt my Papa's sad eyes on us through the rearview mirror.

"This is it." Tyler's voice was barely above a whisper as he looked down at me, his voice slightly breaking. He was letting his tears freely fall and stain his cheeks. My God, even heartbroken and crying he was a true masterpiece. He was gorgeous.

He was being taken away from me.

I shakily brought the back of his hand up to my lips and pressed a soft kiss into it. "This isn't it. We still have so many chapters until it's 'it'." I gave him a small smile hoping to reassure him. I hated when he spoke as if this was the last time we'd see each other. Even if his mother somehow got custody of him, she couldn't keep me away from him. The best parts of me were Tyler. My joy was him. My stability was him. He was my everything. So, I'd fight for him.

His lips trembled as he tried to return the smile. "Yeah," he weakly said before he wrapped his arms around me in a hug. I held him as tightly as I could, investing every ounce of strength I had into him as if I could absorb him if I held him tight enough so I could protect him within me.

"I love you, Addison," he whispered so that only I could hear. "Please don't leave me. Just... wait for me. Please." The shake in his voice matched the tremble in his body.

"I love you, too, Tyler. I'll be right here when you get back, I promise. No matter what, I love you. So, so much."

As he pulled away he looked at me and gently cupped my cheek. "That's all I needed to hear." He pressed a soft kiss to my forehead before the door to the trunk opened, revealing our parents.