A Girl's Guide to Fairy Tales

Chapter One

Chapter One - Maddie

I knew I had to keep the rhythm going if I was going to get that all important result. However, my wrist was already beginning to scorch under the pressure. I let out a huge gasp as the fire spread up my arm and into my shoulder but I disregarded the pain and continued to pump like hell.

I would not admit defeat easily but why was it taking so long? I usually had infinite stamina and succeeded within minutes – yes I was that good, the envy of all my friends in fact. But today that stiff peak eluded me. I had lost my touch.

My phone buzzed like an angry wasp trapped under a glass for the seventh time, its dull drone punctuating my grunts of frustration. Teeth clenched, eyes shut, I gave one last exerted effort and pumped like mad before letting every sinew relax with a dramatic huff.

‘Clare, I’m kinda in the middle of something,’ I snapped as I eased the cramp in my neck.

‘You’re always in the middle of something Maddie.’

‘Look, I’ll be there in ten minutes okay?’ I lied.

Ten minutes was my standard guestimation for any departure, whether I had hair to wash, nails to paint or clothes still to iron. Actually scrap that last one. I had never so much as picked up the bright pink Russell Hobbs iron my grandmother had bought me as a house warming present two years ago. I mean, why iron when you could dry clothes perfectly straight on the radiator? Anyway, Clare ironed things twice, including her thongs, so in reality I was merely helping to balance out the domestic equilibrium.

‘It will take you twenty minutes to get here at least,’ she said in a partly disappointed, partly pissed off tone.

‘Okay, I’ll be there in thirty minutes then.’

‘No you won’t.’

‘Yes I will,’ I protested feigning offence. My hair only needed a brush, my makeup was already done and although I needed to find some clothes to throw on, I could still be leaving in ten minutes. ‘No Clare,’ I asserted, ‘I promise I will be there in thirty minutes. Time me if you like?’

‘It’s alright. Just make sure you’re here. It’s Sophie’s big night and I won’t have you spoiling it.’

Clare was not just a perfectionist, she was an exorcist of all things unorganised and tardy and could make anyone’s head spin with her clockwork rituals and need for order.

‘How could I spoil her night when I’m the one who’s going to make it all the more special with my big surprise?’ I asked.

‘Oh yes! Is it as fabulous as I imagine?’ she enthused.

I sniggered as I listened to Miss Jekyll suddenly rip the phone from Miss Hyde’s grasp. Our friend Isobel was meant to be the actress, not Clare the neat freak. ‘You’ll just have to wait and see,’ I teased. ‘Besides, it’s an artist’s prerogative to be late.’

‘Yes well...finish whatever it is you’re doing and hurry up. Your thirty minutes start now,’ she ordered.

‘Can we make it thirty-two minutes please as it could take a while to scrub this stuff off my hands? This one is a lot stickier than I expected.’

There was a long pause, making me wonder if we had lost connection. ‘What on earth are you doing Madeline?’ Clare asked eventually, a hint of suspicion in her timid voice.

I sighed exaggeratedly. ‘What else would I be doing at this time on a Friday evening?’

She didn’t respond.

‘I’m making meringue of course! But I just can’t seem to get the mixture light enough. I must have lost my culinary mojo and the kitchen is in a dreadful state.’ I paused. ‘Why, what did you think I was doing?’