A Girl's Guide to Fairy Tales

Chapter Ten (part 1)

Chapter Ten - Issie

Okay. So the date with Ben had not turned out as I had expected – or as any woman would have expected actually – but I would not be deterred. Isobel Harris did not fail. I would find a man by curtain-up as Dana had suggested.

But why did it have to be such hard work though? I mean everywhere I looked there were couples walking the streets, having lunch and walking in the park. Surely love couldn’t be too hard to find. Thousands of people did it every day.

It was far too early on a Sunday morning to be at the theatre, yet there I was sat at the back of the auditorium, caressing the red velvet arm of seat P18, contemplating men and love. Besides, the only love that should really matter was my love of the theatre, the love of my job. In fact, why the fuck was I listening to Dana anyway? It wasn’t like she had a string of successful relationships. Married twice, divorced twice and now seeing Harold, the owner of the Irish red setter puppy she was currently painting. Although I secretly thought she preferred the puppy to Harold as it didn’t dribble as much.

‘How the hell did you get in here,’ Guy called from the stage.

‘So much for peace and quiet,’ I said under my breath.

‘Hello, Miss Harris? Can you hear me?’ he asked smugly.

‘And there was me thinking you would be impressed,’ I said disinterested.

‘Impressed at you breaking and entering?’

‘There’s just no pleasing you is there?’ I snapped fiercely. ‘And if you must know, Irene let me in.’

‘Who?’

‘Irene. The cleaner. You mean you don’t make it your job to know everyone?’

‘No,’ he said turning away and walking upstage. ‘Just to know everything.’

Guy wandered around the kitchen of my 1940s home, adjusting props as he went. ‘So Miss Harris.’ There was an exaggerated pause. ‘Did you enjoy your meal at 2 Fisher Street with Mr Howell?’

I pushed myself out of my chair, hovering half way in between standing and sitting. Every muscle seared with tension. ‘How did you –’

‘I just told you didn’t I? I make it my job to know everything.’

I could see his self-righteous smile spreading across his face as he baited me. ‘Well that was none of your business to know.’ By this point I was standing at full height, not that it made any difference.

‘Of course it’s my business to know. While you are in my play, you are my property and seeing as you vanished before I had dismissed everyone for the evening then –’

‘Then you get all totalitarian on me and stick your nose where it doesn’t belong,’ I finished for him.

He pulled up a chair at the kitchen table and sat, crossing his legs and his arms with a hint of dramatic flair. ‘Oh no Miss Harris, I think my nose belonged there. It belonged exactly there.’

‘Do you think I don’t take this job seriously Mr Edmundson? Do you think I am off every night gallivanting with a different man?’

‘Aren’t you?’

‘No!’ I screeched. ‘No I am not. In fact before last week I had not slept with anyone in almost a year I’ll have you know.’ I emphasised my confession with a nod of the head before I realised exactly what I had said.

‘Then Mr De Villiers was a very lucky man for you to bestow such an honour upon him.’

‘Is there no discretion anymore? Does absolutely everyone have to kiss and tell?’ I sighed, massaging my temples. ‘I liked him. You know I actually thought Alex would be one of the decent ones but even he used me.’ Shut the fuck up Isobel. He obviously thinks you’re a slut, just stop. ‘A one-week stand was all I was to him,’ my mouth blurted.