Harry Styles Imagines.

#4 you cut

⚠*Read at your own risk. Will contain selfharm . Do NOT read if you are dealing with it unless you know you can handle the thought.*⚠

Harry knew my problems. He knew me from head to toe, and yet he still put up with me. I didn't know how he stayed with me after all the lies and truths about my life. All the flaws and imperfections, the blood and scars.

I sat in the restroom floor crossing a blade over my thighs, over my stomach and wrist. This wasn't daily, I had stayed clean from self harm for over a year. This was the trigger; my father- abuser and raper- had gotten out of jail. My mother called to inform me he had gotten out of prison and he was visiting my family. I didn't understand how she stayed with a man who caused so much damage to her only daughter. I started to cut up my shoulders and over my bare chest. I was supposed to be showering and there I was naked on the bathroom floor. I was hopeless, Harry didn't need me. I was a fuck up,  a waste of space on earth.

I heard a few knocks on the door but I didn't answer. I had to get rid of this feeling. The feeling of disgust and hate. I had to remove away the nasty touches of another man's hand. I threw the blade across the room and began to scratch my body over the fresh cuts. Blood shed over the floor, torn flesh. It wasn't enough I had to keep cutting, I had to keep punching myself. I had to take his hands off of my frail body.

"(Y/N) open the door right now," I hear his knocks get stronger. I couldn't let him see me like this he would be disappointed. He would leave me- this would be the last straw I just knew it.

"(Y/N) I said open the fucking door!" I kept hearing his knocks grow louder over the running water. I cried and cried- I wanted it all to be over.

"I'll be right out!" I scream before stepping into the shower. I wash the oozing blood off me. The cuts began to burn with the hot water, I was a mess. How was I supposed to clean up the blood from my body if the cuts kept bleeding?

I wrap myself around a towel; white of course the only color we had. I curse under my breath, more blood kept dripping.

"Babe, open up I want to talk" his voice was almost convincing, low and soft.

"I'm almost done, don't worry I'm changing" I kept trying to wipe away the stains on my body until finally they decided to seize. I dresses myself in baggy clothes; gray sweatpants and a dark blue long sleeve shirt. I open the door trying my best to ignore Harry. I walk toward the bed and sit on the edge of it.

"Why are you wearing sweatpants?, Its hot and you haven't worn that in almost a year" I shrug in response not wanting to alarm him with my weak voice.

"You only wore that type of clothes when you would cut and didn't want me to find out" he kneels down infront of me an lightly presses a hand on my cut up knee. I slap it away. He looks Me in the eye.

"What are you not telling me?" He presses his hand on my thigh once again but this time harder squezing at the fresh cuts, making me hiss in pain.

"Take your pant off, now" I tried pushing his hand away but he would only press harder. He then let go of my thighs and picked up the sweater looking at my scared stomach. He then picked up my sleeves, only to find more.

"Take your clothes off" it's not like Harry had never seen me naked, he was about the only man I trusted. The only person besides my mother and the law who new I was raped and abused.

"No, I don't want to" I say cracking my voice and tears filling up thencorner of my eyes.

"You think it's a question? Take it off (Y/N)"

I slowly remove my sweatpants then sweater. I expose myself fully to him the only clothing left is my underwear. He stares at my body, slowly engraving his eyes up and down.

"Your whole..-your whole body is covered in them...not just your wrist but your whole damn body" He traces his finger over a few cuts then looks me in the eyes

"We- I thought we were done with this? You've been clean for almost a year...why?" His nose became red and his eyes watery.

"I'm sorry.." was all I could say

"He's back, he's out of jail...I.had to do something about the feeling" I then begin to cry and hold his hand tight.

"You could have told me, I thought we were over this? I thought we were done with the self harm" I nod unable to speak to him.

"Your whole body is covered in them, your legs, thighs, stomach, wrist, and now even up to your shoulders and chest?" He shakes his head in disapproval. I wouldn't blame him if he left me.

"We agreed that I will always be here for you, why? We agreed on you coming to me" I nod and throw myself into his arms ignoring the sharp pain.

He holds me.

I cry.

"(Y/N) never again, agreed?" I nod quickly, I peck his chin then his jaw.

"I love you Harry,"

"I love you more princess..."