The Tragic Jedi | Anakin Skywalker

𝓢𝓬𝓮𝓷𝓮 𝟒𝟔

❝𝑾𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒊𝒇 𝑰 𝒕𝒐𝒍𝒅 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒕𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝑹𝒆𝒑𝒖𝒃𝒍𝒊𝒄 𝒘𝒂𝒔 𝒏𝒐𝒘 𝒖𝒏𝒅𝒆𝒓 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒕𝒓𝒐𝒍 𝒐𝒇 𝒂 𝑫𝒂𝒓𝒌 𝑳𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝒐𝒇 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝑺𝒊𝒕𝒉?❞ -- 𝑪𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕 𝑫𝒐𝒐𝒌𝒖

❈✱❉✤❈✱❉

Anakin was a mess for a long time after Ahsoka left the Jedi Order. 

The first week had been the worst. For each of those first seven nights, he would slip into Astrid's room, and Astrid would comfort him as he wept into her arms, eventually falling asleep when his emotional turmoil exhausted him too much for him to stay awake. 

Astrid tried her best to comfort him and remind him that she was still here for him, but he was irreconcilable. She knew Ahsoka's unexpected and abrupt departure was a hard blow to him, a blow equivalent to when he'd lost his mother. 

"I can't bear the thought of losing you, too, Astrid," Anakin had bemoaned one night after he'd managed to settle down enough to talk coherently. He'd wrapped his arms around her waist and tugged her towards him as he buried his face into her neck as if to hide from the possibility that he could lose her just like Ahsoka.

"You won't lose me," Astrid had assured him gently. "I'm not going anywhere without you by my side." She'd twisted around to face him and gripped him as if he was smoke sliding through her fingers, afraid she was losing him bit by bit with each passing day without Ahsoka by his side. 

And sleep rarely found him. Anakin tossed and turned nearly every night, his erratic movements jerking Astrid awake each time, and when Anakin did manage to fall asleep, he often had horrific nightmares that ended with him sobbing or screaming into the night. 

Sometimes Anakin called for Ahsoka's name and sometimes he called out hers. It was painful to watch, and Astrid felt hopeless to help him. She was afraid of the moment they would have to part to carry out and finish the Clone Wars, afraid that he would slip entirely without her there to comfort him. 

Astrid often wondered how Ahsoka was faring, and Astrid hoped she was doing better than Anakin. 

 "Astrid?" someone asked, and a moment later a blurry, blue-skinned hand waved in front of her face. Astrid blinked as her gaze refocused, and she looked up and remembered she was sitting with Master Secura in one of the meditation rooms. 

"Sorry," Astrid mumbled with a blush, and Master Secura gave her a teasing smile. 

"You weren't always so distracted before, Astrid," Master Secura commented. "I hope you're not like this on the battlefield. You'll end up dead if you are." 

Astrid mustered enough energy to give her former master an amused look, and she chuckled as she replied, "No, I'm most definitely not like this on the battlefield, master. No worries." 

Master Secura rested her head in her hands as she twisted towards Astrid on her raised circular cushion and asked, "Then what is it that's distracting you? Perhaps I can help." 

Astrid seriously doubted her master could help Anakin, and Astrid didn't even want to tell Master Secura about Anakin's recent struggles lest her master become suspicious of their relationship. Instead, Astrid pasted on a smile and shook her head as she turned her gaze to the ground. 

"It's nothing, master. I'm just tired." 

Master Secura gave her a doubtful, but sympathetic look. "Well, if you ever feel the sudden desire to tell me whatever is truly bothering you, then don't hesitate, Astrid." She settled a comforting hand on Astrid's shoulder. "I can assure you, I can probably relate to whatever you're struggling with."