Escaping Darkness [Book 1 of Through Darkness and Light]

Chapter 4: Deadened Sensations

Warnings: Most of the warnings are in the first chapter. However, a brief warning. This chapter contains graphic self-destruction (cutting). If this bothers you in any way, please do not read. I don't want to get flamed, when in reality, I warned you, and in no way forced you to read it. Now, on that happy note, enjoy! (And remember...it gets lighter later on.)

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He could see them in his mind's eye...hear their pleading screams...

He could see their hands reaching for them...hear their accusing words...

We died because of you...it's your fault we died...you're worthless...selfish...a waste of flesh and bone...

Suddenly, his scar exploded in agony unlike anything he had ever felt before. Unable to continue clutching his wand, it fell from his fingers and he clasped his hands to his face. Harry's knees buckled and before he realized what was happening, he was on the ground - blinded by the pain.

Somewhere in the clearing, he could hear the cold, thin voice of his worst nightmare as it hissed, "Kill the spare."

There was a rushing wind, and a second, reedier voice that screeched the words into the dark night: "Avada Kedavra!"

He could see the green light blazing past his eyelids and there was a sickening thud as something heavy fell to the ground beside him. Nausea swept over him and he retched through the pain. Painfully, he pried his eyes open and blinked. The thing beside him came into focus.

Cedric, lying spread-eagled on the ground beside him. Dead.

Time slowed and seemed to stop. An eternity went by as Harry stared at the lifeless grey eyes, the parted lips that gave his face a mildly surprised expression. Numbness swept over him as he was dragged to his feet.

"No! Let me go!" Harry screeched. The grip did not release him. Rather, the world faded to black, then he saw his parents standing there, their hands reached out towards him. Harry tried to run to them, seeking their comforting arms. But he was held fast. He tried to scream again, but found that his voice no longer worked. He was forced to watch, silent and frozen, as a green light flashed, and the forms of his parents crumpled.

Then he saw Sirius.

His godfather turned to smile at him, a question upon his lips. Then suddenly, another flash of green light erupted, and Harry tried to warn Sirius, to call out, to do something. But it was too late. The Animagus' face took on a look of shock, and he looked up towards Harry, his eyes meeting the younger boy's. Like a graceful dancer, Sirius spread his arms, and fell...fell into darkness...fell into the void...

Fell out of Harry's life, just like the others.

Falling...the sensation of falling...

Laughter echoed around him, and a red glow emerged from the darkness. The red eyes of Voldemort. A thin white hand stretched out towards Harry, descending down upon him.

"NOO!" Harry lurched out of the bed, his heart pounding and sweat dripping down his brow. He fumbled for his glasses on the side table, and shoved them on his face. As his eyes adjusted to the darkness, he began to relax. The terror of his dream was still vivid in his mind, and he trembled with the thought of it.

"Harry?"

He started, and turned to see Ron's sleep-mussed head coming into focus. His friend wore a concerned expression, as he sat on the edge of Harry's bed. He seemed to have gotten over his earlier bad temper, in light of this new nightmare.