Glazed Eyes

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"You don't have to say I love you."

_______ERIK_________

Erik was brave, this much everyone knew. Brave enough to stand up to bullies. Brave enough to survive his father. Brave enough to do those stupid experimental tricks that leave Charlie screaming. He was brave enough to survive a heart pounding crush on his best friend his entire life.  He was the first to jump off the Barrens cliff in sixth grade. Testing the murky waters for the small clan above. Brave enough to sleep at those same barrens on nights he didn't want to be home but also didn't want to burden Charlie. Brave enough to pick fights with kids who would undeniably win. There was a natural born rush of adrenaline that hovered in each breath he took. A second heartbeat, slightly more uptempo than his first. Erik was brave, this much everyone knew.

    Right now, Erik Lehnsherr was terrified.

    Erik's hands shook rather violently as he sat alone in the small holding cell of an outdated police station. It was late, that much Erik knew by the lack of usual summer sunshine from outside. The room with the holding cells was illuminated by a single lamp sitting on the far corner of a desk. The harsh shadows it created did little to calm Erik's nerves as he stared at his hands and his formerly clean shirt. His palms and creases of his worn down fingernails are stained with blood both his own and Jacobs. He couldn't really tell the difference, especially on his yellow t-shirt that now sported a violent mix of dirt and dried blood. He could still hear the cops voices outside of the holding cell, mocking him. Calling him derogatory terms that had less to do with him but more to do with his parents. It didn't take long after processing for the handful of Brooksvilles cops to link the Lehnsherr name to the violent gambling drunk. Infact Erik was rather surprised to not find his father in the other empty holding cell parallel to him. But, he supposes the man was blacked out somewhere else in town. And for that he was grateful.

Erik's ears were still ringing from an injury he was unable to remember receiving. He wasn't quite sure what happened but he can feel the extent of it. Every part of his body hurt. His knuckles were scraped and burned every time he moved them. His face was busted to hell, that much he was sure of. Because although Erik could fight, Jacob could as well. But, Jacob at his best was still no match for the certain strand of anger Erik tapped into tonight. A monster emerged in Erik and that terrified him.  He had begged his mother on the phone to not involve Charlie in this. Begging her to not call him and ask for help like she most likely would. He didn't want to let the two people he loved most in this world down. People he had promised to be better for. And if Charlie came and Jack found out...

"Shit!" Erik shouted in frustration as he stood up. The sudden movement sent a shockwave of pain through his body. He'd promised to stop getting into fights and letting his anger get the better of him. He'd promised he would stop smoking. He promised to start taking care of himself. And maybe he would have succeeded if people like Jacob Westbrook didn't exist.Or maybe not, he thinks, maybe he is bound to end up like his father. No. Never. You are not your father. Charlie would punch you for even thinking that.

Despite being in a holding cell and likely in more trouble than he actually should be for kicking the sheriff's son's ass, Erik's mind wandered like a moth to a flame. Finding all his thoughts focusing on speckled cheeks, mahogany curls and bright crystal blue eyes. A voice, soft and reassuring in the coldest nights of Erik's life. Arms, strong and humble wrapping around him like a blanket. He found, in a sea of uncertainties and violent memories, a serene expression.

"Hey, look at me," Charlie held Erik's face up to face him. They were younger, maybe around thirteen. The sun set on another cool March day leaving both boys exposed to the darkening shadows of the Barrens forest. Erik was crying, actually he was sobbing. His body shook as Charlie held him close. Close enough to see all the beautiful shades of blue in his eyes. Erik's stomach fluttered, but that was a problem he would take years to address.

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