Chapter- 4

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Swara looked at herself in the mirror, draped in a pink and green saree with open wavy hair.. a small bindi between her eyebrows, her hands adorned with the shaka pola and the bangles he gave her on their golden night.. she kept it on mortgage for badepapa and when their financial condition got stable she got it back.. she can never sell those bangles.. never! Her maang filled with sindoor and her neck adorned with the 'SS' locket and mangalsutra.. she looked very much like the olden days.. very much but not exactly.. her eyes had no twinkle but just tears, her lips had no smile.. her mind and heart had its own battle saying a lot of things to her.. her head bursting as millions of thoughts were going on but she chose to ignore everything.. sighing she packed the clothes for Sanskar.. almost all his clothes! For now she was going to take only a few to the hospital but then when they will have to leave Mumbai, she didn't want to come here and pack again.. she was thinking to keep the big suitcase in the car itself and when Sanskar would get discharged they can leave directly to Mumbai.. she had her own reasons, she didn't want to come here again.. standing in this room and realizing that she cannot get those moments again was a torture and she don't want to face it.. she had no courage to face it.. it broke her..

"how would have Sanskar felt all these months?"

A voice screamed inside her.. she wiped her tears as she closed the zip of bag.. her mobile rang and she saw that it was Sanskar's PA Aman.. she picked the call..

"hello mam.. I actually need a file from Sanskar sir, it is at his home.."

"mein abhi ghar par hi hoon Aman! You can tell me, I will bring it.. you can collect it from me in hospital.."

"okay mam.. it is a blue color file.."

"fine! Do you need any other file? For the deal in Mumbai? I can bring it now itself.."

"no mam.. baaki saare files tho sir ki cabin mein hai.. so no worries!"

"okay then.. bye.."

Swara searched for the file in his cupboard and found two blue files.. one was blue with black and the other was blue with red.. she thought of calling Aman again to enquire about the color combination and called him but he didn't pick up.. she was about to open the files and check ..but then Sujata came..

"chori.. chale?"

Swara nodded to her and for safety she took both the files as she was not sure which was the correct one.. they both descended down the stairs and the driver who was waiting for them in the hall took the luggage from them and went outside to keep it in car.. Swara went to the god's idol that was in the corner of their hall.. she clasped her hands and closed her eyes asking god to give her strength.. she was going to lie to her Sanskar which is not at all easy for her.. she prayed for everyone's safety.. she opened her eyes and turned and saw her badima looking at her blankly.. Swara slowly went to her and bent down to get her blessings.. Annapurna kept hand on her head blessing her but still she was expressionless.. Swara stood up and looked at her..

"I know you Swara.. you have always thought of everyone and kept this house and family together and that's the reason I am still believing that there might be a reason for you to go Mumbai with Sanskar..don't disappoint me.. I hope you know that Laksh is still not found.." Annapurna told sternly..

"jiji.." Sujata intervened but Swara held her hand stopping her.. Swara looked at her badima silently.. she expected this reaction.. everyone would think it was selfish of her to leave everything and go.. but she has learnt her lesson.. months back she tried her best to make everything fine, she wanted everything to be perfect but then everything just turned even worse.. of course she want everything to be fine even now but there was no fire in her like before to settle everything and scream and tell everyone her opinions and make everyone understand what was right and what was wrong.. if there was something still left in her.. it was only guilt.. love and respect for everyone was still there but guilt and anger on herself was so overpowering that it suffocated her.. she quietly left from there.. Sujata was confused but followed Swara and Annapurna couldn't help but feel angry that Swara didn't even bother to explain her..

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