Learning to Love (Lesbian Story)

Chapter 26

“I know right. It's madness. But that's my girl though.” I said.

“I see. So is she going to tell Terrell?” Christina asked.

“Yep she gonna have to. I mean time don't add up, and plus if the baby come out with blue eyes and blonde hair. What that look like?” I said. Christina giggled at the thought of it.

“Yeah that'd be crazy.” Christina smiled.

“It be like that sometime.” I said.

 “I guess so.” Christina said. It was quiet for a moment.

Christina was staring straight ahead. She looked like she was walking down memory lane. I followed her line of vision. She was staring at the picture of my mother that was on the mantle above the fireplace.

It was my mother in one of her Sunday suits, with a big fancy hat on. She use to dress so extravagantly for church. Wear all types of shiny, glitter jewelry, and couldn't be seen without some huge fancy hat on her head. She dressed like the true definition of a church lady.

“You miss her?” I asked.

“More than ever.” Christina said.

“Me too. Everyday.” I said.

“Did you know how proud she was of you?” Christina asked looking at me.

“Yeah.” I said.

“You're all she ever talked about. She always told me that you had the worst attitude with the biggest heart.” Christina smiled.

I smiled, that sounded like something my mom would say.

“Yeah she told me that too. It's hard Christina. I miss her so much, everyday. Everyday I think about her. I saw her.” I said.

“Say what?” Christina said.

“You're gonna think I'm crazy. Probably a maniac or maybe I just been hanging out at my job just a little too much. But I saw her. The day of the boating accident, and I almost drowned. While I was out, I saw her, and I spoke to her. And I sound crazy, and I probably lost my mind.” I said feeling so stupid for telling her this.

“No Kaliya, it's alright. It happens. I believe, I use to see my mother in my sleep, and she's been gone for two years. I'd wake up calling for her. Then I'd realize, it was only a dream but it felt so real. I understand.” Christina said.

That made me feel way better about this.

“Well then I spoke to her. She urged me back. Said she was happy where she was. She said she was proud of me, and how well I'm doing with the kids. She told me to be careful, and watch myself. I wanted to stay with her forever. I miss her. I miss her so much sometime, I'm physically pained. It's not as bad as it use to be. When it first happened, I was crying every night, I was screaming that she'd come back. I was mad cause she left. I had the kids, and I had to balance things all over again. It seem like I had just gotten to the point of being ok with the life that I lived.” I said and paused.

I ain't feel like crying, but my eyes were stinging with tears that I refused to let fall.

“I was single, and I was childless. And I had gotten use to coming home to my empty ass two bedroom apartment. I gotten use to cuddling up with a bottle of Jack Daniel's every night. I just thought ok this how I'm living. Then my mom passed, and the whole world just flipped upside down. The whole world. I just, it just happened so suddenly. I just wasn't ready, but how the hell do you prepare for yo mama dying? I'm ok now.” I said wiping my eyes.

Christina put her arms around me, and held me close.

“It's ok if you still cry about baby. It's ok if it still hurts. You never really get over it, you just somehow learn to live with it. You never become numb to it, some days you'll feel it tougher than others. And that's ok, that's absolutely ok. So if you wanna cry about it, you can. You can cry, it's alright.” Christina said.