Learning to Love (Lesbian Story)

Chapter 34

Eventually next week hit, and it was court time. It was the morning of my first court appearance. I had to see the kids off first, and then I would head straight to court. To say I was nervous, was an understatement. I was literally shaking. My hands were shaking wildly, and would not stop. I was feeling all types of nerves. I was feeling lightheaded, dizzy, like I was gonna pass out any moment now. I was beyond nervous. I was looking in the mirror. Trying so hard to remain calm.

I stared at my reflection. I looked so much better than I did almost two months ago. I remembered that horrible disfigured image of myself I saw when I was in the hospital. I could see clearly now though. I now had a scar under my left eye, it was constant reminder of what I went through. I touched my face gently, and flashbacks came on so hard. The way my face looked after the attack. The purple, blue, and black bruises that once covered my face were gone. Nothing was left but my radiant chocolate skin. I had my hair in a high bun, so I could see my face clearly. I looked over myself.

The dark gray pin stripe pants suit made me look professional. Like I was in control, confident, and poised. But really I was struggling on the inside, feeling rather ashamed, and losing control by the minute. If I could just get through today, I'd be ok forever. However, right now that seemed quite impossible. I exhaled as I had tried to gain myself back. I gave myself a final glance. I tried to smile at me, but I couldn't. I sighed, flicked the bathroom light off, and left out.

“Ka'Diah, Karlie, and Charles come on now, you're about to be late. You all absolutely can not miss the buses today. I have court, so come on.” I called as I walked down the stairs. A few moment later I heard what sounded like a million foot steps coming down the stairs. The children raced down the steps backpacks in tow.

I stood at the front door as they came.

 First one out the door was Karlie.

“Aunty Kay?” Karlie said stopping at the door.

 “Yeah ma?” I said.

 “Good luck in court today. I know you'll do well.” Karlie smile. I smiled back at her.

“Thank you Karlie, I appreciate you really. Have a good day, I'll see you when you get home.” I said giving her a hug.

“See ya.” Karlie said giving me a quick hug, and racing out the door.

Charles was next.

“Umm Aunty Kay, I made you something.” Charles said.

“Really? What?” I said. Charles smiled as reached in his pocket, and pulled out something. I opened my hand to receive whatever gift he was blessing me with.

Charles placed a pink and white beaded cross in my hand that was attached to a beaded chain.

 “This is beautiful.” I said to him. He smiled even brighter.

“Mommy and me made it for you. Whenever you get nervous or scared, you can look at it, and hold it and stuff, and it'll make you feel better. I have a matching one. See.” Charles said pulling his black and white beaded cross necklace out of his shirt.

“Yours is pink 'cause well you're a girl.” Charles said. I smiled at him.

“Thank you so much Charles. I really love this. Thank you man.” I said hugging him. He gave me a kiss on the cheek.

“You're welcome.” Charles said.

“Come on Charles, we're gonna miss the bus if you don't hurry.” Karlie said from the porch.

 “Gotta go. See ya.” Charles said racing out the front door.

“See ya.” I said.

“Aunty Kay?” Ka'Diah said.