3 months later.
"Mom and you also won't believe who I met!" I patiently sighed knowing she was probably not even listening.
"Mindy Kaling! Ahh! Ma, I even got a selfie with her and she signed.."
"Mindy mn (who?)"
"Nevermind, ma. How's your day been going so far?"
"My shifts are becoming very hectic and Adam is giving me a headache, he wants a brand new car. byfkr ena elfloos byzr3 3alashjar (he thinks money grows on trees). Your dad is the most indecisive man I've met"
My eyes widened "esh9ar? (What happened?)
She took a deep breath then mustered something along the lines of "forget about it, how was your day? Are you still a loner? Do you have good company? Are you doing good? Is Sami being too competitive again?"
Abruptly I stopped her there "ma, I'm not a loner. I already told you about the group of friends I have now!"
"I don't recall you doing so. Tell me about them."
"Ma, do you want me to bore you death?" "No! Don't be silly, I'd like to now."
I could hear our laundry machine going on, it meant my mom was busy doing something else but chose not to hang up on me. She never did that now, she knew that the first 2 months were hell. I was so home sick, at a point even suicidal, I wanted to come back home to mama's comforting food. The sound of Adam playing the piano. I wanted my persian cat to stare at me and show her purr at me. I missed giggling with Sarah to the point breathing was out of the question. But I constantly reassured myself that was all to miss about home, the rest was just a blur now.
"There's Maria" I spoke slowly
"How is she like?" I loved the way my mother pronounced Maria correct rather than pronouncing it as Mariah.
"She's strong.. her eyes are stern. Like the waves crashing against the tide on rainy days she is genuinely the..."
My mom interrupted me with excitement "Maria... Maria? Is she muslim?"
I laughed "yeah mama she is, tlbs el hijab(she wears a scarf) her mom is Morrocan and her father is from here.. Emirati"
"I'd love to meet her" I was pleased to know that.
"Lema is the girl you already know, she's Sudanese and is the most wittest and sassiest girl I've ever met. The first two weeks I got here... I was terrified of her mama she laid out the rules and it scared me. But we bonded over hating our calcalus professor over lunch. Then of course there's Sami and his two closest buddies whom which I include as my group of friends as well. Daniel is this really nerdy American guy who also got into this university through a scholarship... mama everything I say is turned into a debate whenever I talk to him... I swear to god he gets on my nerves! And lastly there's Tamer."
I paused for a milisecond because every single time he stood there next to Sami I crippled in anxiety to speak. It was fucking terrifying because he was so damn attractive. I avoided him most times hence I only ever had one real conversation with him, and in that conversation I was explaining to him that hummus was palestenian and it only ever originated from Palestine, to which he replied shyly "yeah I'd know Faye" and I aggressively said "no you wouldn't because you see.." and he interrupted me saying "I'm Palestenian. Gazawi to be more specific." I could've swore he looked foreign, perhaps Turkish. Someone told me he was adopted but his maternal parents were German, yet again that someone was the same moron that told everyone I was a rich obnoxious Cali girl from LA.
"Faye? Why did you stop talking? Ya raby (oh my god) are you having an anxiety attack again? Breathe. I'll call your university hotline!"
I shrieked "no ma! I swear I'm fine. I got distracted by the view of..." Tamer's beautiful dimples "sunset" is what I said. "Tayeb (ok)..."
I could feel she wanted to hang up, she was my home. I missed no one other than her even after I promised myself I wouldn't. "Mama you can go don't let me hold you back... I'm going out with um Lema and Maria tonight to this event."
"Fine, drink three green cups of tea, Sarah told me you had a migrane yesterday!" I rolled my eyes typical Sarah.
"Ok mama, bye."
"Bye habeebty (love)" she said.
I didn't have the nerve to end the call, but she did.
I stood by the corner gazing at my reflection. Who was I?
Was I fragile for having a heart brimmed with empathy? For breaking down into tears every single time I'd end the call with my mom. Two months consisted of me attempting to figure out what it was about my mother that made me miss her affection so increadibly when she really never was the type to show any. Until I recently learned that I craved physical touche. On days when I would feel low I'd climb onto my mom's bed and sleep next to her stroking her ash brown locks.
Distract yourself, Faye. Don't think about it... stare at the sunset. There are about a million other students that left their parents to go to college... and I broke down crying again.
I missed the scent of home, I missed my mom's scent.
"You crying again?" said Lema in a low tone.
I wiped my tears "no" she sat in front of me and wiped my tears "then what are these, babe?"
"Go away Lema. My eyes are just..." I sniffed "sweating".
Lema smiled "you won't believe what I heard, that girl that blondie with a pixie haircut that sits right next to you in accounting class..."
"Summer?" I said. Gosh, I sounded like a wimp right now.
"Yeah rumor has it she wants you to tutor her on crap like ratio analysis"
I cried even harder "Lema what the hell... why would I tutor her? Why didn't you tell her no you know me... I hate socializing. "
"No you moron every single time you tutor her she'll give you cans of chickpeas, the girl lives on hummus. You think I'm stupid??? I told her to bribe you with Reese buttercups and hummus cans."
My eyes glistened "okay" I muttered as I blowed my nose on another tissue paper.
Lema rolled her eyes at my immaturity. "Anyways yo guess what?!" She was never going to wait for me to guess because Lema couldn't stand waiting for people to guess. It was during moments like these I wished there was a camera to capture the way her eyes were so eager to spill what she was saving to tell us. "Daniel's got this debate thing going as always with Maria, and Tamer and Sami are planning to turn it into a party. No alcohol involved trust me, just a party/ movie night with a couple of close friends then maybe we can go downstairs dressed up to take some Polaroid pictures, pretend our life is so fantastic we have so much fun... yata yata then actually come back upstairs and moan about the shit ton of assignments that sir we all hate gives us."
"Count me in."
I was willing to do anything to crash Daniel and Maria's debate session, as interesting as they seemed it would always end with him calling Maria "arrogant" and her calling Daniel an "asshole". Nonetheless, at times when I would be sitting right next to them seeing them fight with so much passion gave me this absurd notion that in some messed up way they would make a pretty cute couple.
I wore a black hoodie that had the Brooklyn bridge drawn in gold and black corduroy trousers. Maria and Igot Lema frustrated because we made her late by almost half an hour considering it took that much amount of time to perfect a winged eyeliner. I gazed at my reflection in the mirror, I don't know whether it was my haircut that I decided to do two weeks ago or the fact that I was consuming nothing but cheap chinease noodles occasionally with broccoli but my cheekbones had become more prominent, and I didn't like it. I missed my pink cheeks. I looked older, I looked exactly like that cunning manipulative snake during that intreview.
