A Thousand Salt Kisses (Book 1 of Salt Kiss series)

><> Chapter Thirty-Two <><

"Crystal White?" said the cashiers at the bank.

"Yes," I said, leaning against the counter impatiently. I had come to check whether my first wage had come through.

The cashier turned the computer and I looked at my balance.

NIL

"Oh, well that's just great," I moaned. I had now worked at The Rose for a week and a half and pay day was yesterday.

"Can I get an overdraft?" I asked, hopefully.

The cashier looked at me and then looked back at her screen.

"Not until your eighteen, Miss White," she said firmly.

I turned dejectedly and walked out of the bank, rummaging around in my purple leather bag as I walked. I had wanted to take out my money and head to the shops. As every girl knows, there's no therapy like retail therapy.

I retrieved my phone and called work.

"Hello, The Rose Tavern, Tamzin speaking."

"Tamzin, it's Crystal."

"Oh, hello my lover!" she cooed.

"Hello. Look, I still haven't been paid."

"Teething problems, Crystal," she said dreamily. "Oh, can you work tonight? We've just got a booking for fourteen upstairs?"

"Ummm," I said, searching my mind for an excuse. I was exhausted. I had worked every night this week.

"Come on!" she hollered coarsely.

"Okay, sure," I said reluctantly, unable to think of a reason why I could not come in. I hung up the phone and trudged to the harbour.

If I caught the two thirty sea bus back, then I could probably catch a little nap before work. And besides, It wasn't like I had much else to do, asides from sit at home and mope.

In all honesty, my job had been a welcome distraction. It had now been two weeks since I last saw Llyr and I had still not heard or seen a thing of him. I was feeling pretty certain that it was over, and the thought that I may never see him again had been slowly killing me.

Had I not been at work, chattering to locals at the bar or racing about with plates of food, I would have been at home torturing myself. And even when I was at work, there had been times when he had surged into my thoughts and I had had to rush to the toilet. I would lock myself in the cubicle and dab away each individual tear away as they came, willing them to stop.

At night, often I would be so tired I would sleep but then in the day time before work, I would lie in bed in a trance, and hours would pass without me realizing.

And of course, it wasn't just me who was nursing a broken heart in that house. Just like I busied myself with work, Dad had thrown himself into his SKANX activism. The grand demonstration, had been put back to this Friday, as organizers had felt they may be branded 'tasteless' to demonstrate so close to the shipping accident.

Dad had not been too happy about this at all. I could sense that he was looking at the demonstration as an opportunity to get a lot to get off his chest. His quest against the company had now become deeply personal, and I had to admit, I was awaiting the date with apprehension. I really hoped that he was not going to do anything stupid.


*****


"Table 17, Crystal!" squawked Tamzin. He voice was like nails on a blackboard, it was just so... harsh and grating.

"Like a fishwife, isn't she?" said Billy the regular, catching a glimpse of my pained expression.

"That's because I am a bloody fishwife!" she shrieked, and then cackled.

Billy chortled into his double scotch on the rocks, his blackened gappy teeth on full unashamed display.

I couldn't help but giggle along, they were a funny rowdy bunch. And Tamzin had a point, she was indeed married to one of the Coney Bay fishermen.

It was busy at the pub and I had been up and down the stairs like a yo-yo. The customers upstairs were all absolutely plastered, and pervy men had been slipping me tips all night, some of them quite possibly forgetting that they had already given me a good a note or two. I knew it was a little unethical but I pocketed them all. Well, someone had to pay me around here...

As the end of the shift finally neared, Tamzin uncorked a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc from behind the bar and poured two glasses.

"Get that down you, my lover," she said, pushing me one and knocking back the other in one gulp.

I took the glass gratefully and had a few large sips. I felt the wine instantly coarse through my overworked body. I had not had any alcohol for a while now; not since my one-time drinking partner Rosie had become so busied by Will. It felt great; a big tension release.

Customers were filing out, and I began gathering glasses to stack into the big chrome washer. The machine itself smelt utterly rancid, and I held my nose as I opened the door and a great stinking billow of steam came out.

"So, Crystal White," said Billy. "How you enjoying Coney?"

This was not the easiest of questions for me to answer at this present moment in time and I took my time to dwell on it.

"Well," I began "I think it's a very interesting place."

Billy raised his eyebrows. "Ah, well that's a first for a youngun. Kids your age are usually leaving Coney, not the other way round."

I smiled. "Yeah, well... I guess I'm a special case."

"So what's so interesting about Coney then?" he asked, his brow furrowed with curiosity.

I paused. "I guess it had its charm, you know... its history."

Billy swatted his arm. "Ahh, we've got all the pirates and smugglers stuff, I suppose. Keeps the tourists happy."

"We got mermaids 'n' everything!" came a voice from the end of the bar.

I looked up shocked. It was Charles, the white-haired elderly man. He was looking at me from the shadowy corner with an eyebrow cocked mysteriously.

I stood behind the bar speechless, not quite knowing what to say. Maybe it wasn't an island secret after all. I looked at the two men, their faces were deadly serious.

Charles suddenly let out a wheeze, and collapsed into laughter. 

Okay, it's a joke. Thank God.

Billy hooted and banged his hands on the bar.

"You really believed him!" he cried. He pulled an expression of sheer gormlessness, which I took to be an extremely unflattering portrayal of myself.

I forced myself to laugh along. "Yep, must be the wine," I joked through gritted teeth.


***


I let myself out the back door, dropping the rubbish off as I went. Since the mermaid joke, my mind had switched to Llyr and I had felt my heart break all over again.

As I stepped onto the road, the glistening moon-lit ocean caught my eye and pulled me across to the other side. I rested my hands on the cool slate wall, and gazed ahead. If only he would just come to me one last time.

The tears came again, flooding down my cheeks like a waterfall, but this time, I did not dab them away. I gave in, sobbing against the wall. I had never felt so alone in my entire life.

My family had completely fallen apart and both my parents were too angry to talk to each other or even to check in on me. I was hundreds of miles away from my old school friends, and the one pal I had made out here was barely around anymore.

Llyr was the only thing that had truly filled me with happiness since I came here, but he too had left me, and it was all my stupid, stupid fault.

Suddenly I had a crazy idea. Can I somehow make him come to me? He can sense when I'm in danger, right? So then...

I walked slowly down the steps that led to the beach. Swimming was forbidden here. It was right by the jagged base of the cliffs and there was sure to be all kinds of dangerous currents, not to mention falling rocks.

So then this was a good spot, if I was going to do what I was going to do.

I walked slowly to the water's edge. I knew that I loved him. I must love him to even contemplate anything like this. But was it worth this?

What if he doesn't come? I could die and leave Dad all on his own.

I paused at this terrible, tragic thought, and even took a few steps backwards. But my desire to see him took hold of me and pulled me forward again.

I took a couple of big strides into the water, and I then I suddenly dropped. There was some kind of ledge, and I buckled startled, water sloshing in my face. I regained my footing and took some deep breaths, now waist deep.

The initial sting of the water did not shock me, unlike the previous nights that I had ventured into the seas. I took some more steps forwards until I was up to my shoulders. Now, I looked out to sea, my eyes raw from salt. 

Call me crackers, deparate - whatever. Maybe I was, but at that moment, seeing Llyr mattered more than anything else in the world. I had to find him; I didn't want to be like Mum; I didn't want to just give up on love.

I stretched out my arms and launched forwards.