12: Family Is Everything

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I honestly didn't feel like eating. I just rolled over and fell back to sleep.

I woke up and saw the food was gone and a glass of water on the nightstand. I took a sip and looked around the room. 

I'm not okay something inside me is hurting but I can't figure out what that thing is.

Rossi came in with a plate of food and I said, "I'm not hungry."

He still put the plate on the nightstand and then sat at the edge of the bed saying, "You haven't eaten since one yesterday. Your body isn't going to feel better if you stop eating."

I didn't listen and went back under the covers as he walked away.

As I slept I heard Rossi enter and leave frequently but I was too out of it to really comprehend what he was doing.

I was shaken awake and saw the team looking at me with concern. Spencer asked, "Can you give us a minute?"

Everyone started to leave and Spencer stopped Penelope and quietly said, "Stay."

Penelope sat next to me and said, "Spencer told me you were looking for someone but only have a first name."

I looked at Spencer angrily and said, "I thought you would keep this between us."

He argued back saying, "I was but when Rossi was telling us about your depression and not eating I had to tell someone who can help."

"I trusted you," I said upset and he said, "I could have gone to Hotch or Rossi but I chose Pen because she can most likely find him."

He left the room and Penelope grabbed her laptop and said, "I will try my best but I can't guarantee we'll find him or her."

I nodded and said, "Should we give it a shot?"

She said, "Why not?"

She then asked, "Name preferably first and last, location if you can be specific, and a timeline of when I should search."

"Samuel something, Afghanistan, the year is 1996," I said and she started typing and said, "I got 45 hits on a Samuel who lived in Afghanistan in 1996."

I knew it wasn't going to be easy but it was worth a try I told her, "Send me the list and when I get the chance I'll look through them."

She nodded and started to leave and Hotch walked in saying, "You are relieved of your position until further notice. I want you to speak to the FBI's therapist and you won't come back until the therapist clears you. Understood," I nodded and he walked away.

The next day I finally dragged myself out of bed and took a shower. I then walked downstairs and Rossi was making breakfast. I sat down at the table and he said, "I'll make you anything you want," I smiled and said, "Just water for now."

He sighed and said, "Please Alex. You need to eat something. You won't live long by drinking just water."

He was right by my motivation was gone. Nothing seemed worth doing. I was hungry but I couldn't think about eating at a time like this.

I got up from the table and Rossi followed me asking where was I going and I said, "I have to go see a shrink today so I am getting ready."

He nodded and said, "Shrinks are helpful don't think of it as another thing you have to do but for them to help you."

*At the BAU*

"Hi, I am Alexandra Montgomery and I'm here for my appointment," I said to the office lady and a woman walked out and said, "Alexandra, Hi it's so nice to meet you.I'm Alyssa Come in."

I walked into her room and sat down. 

"So, how are things going," She asks.

I nodded my head and silently said, "Good."

She looked at me funny and raised her eyebrow and asked, "Are you sure?"

I sighed and shook my head and admitted, "No. I don't know what's going on. I feel so confused about everything. I've always been on my own but ever since I joined the BAU I have felt different."

"Different how," She asks.

I think for a minute and say, "I don't know."

I explained my situation and she asked me, "Do you think you are running away from your feelings of having a family."

"What does a family have to deal with me and my feelings," I asked confused.

She told me that the BAU team isn't just a team but they are a family. They care for each other but as you know profiling is hard but also being accepted is even harder.

'Was she right,' I thought to myself. 

"Well you said you've always been on your own until you joined the BAU, so you were fine solo but when you joined you had to learn how to work together and help one or another," the therapist said sympathetically.

"I do work with them and I do help, I just don't feel like...," I didn't know what I was even saying.

"...like you aren't really apart of their family," she finished for me and I just nodded.

"That's okay to feel this way. What we don't want is these feelings to affect your work ethic," she said standing up.

She sighed and said, "I want you to connect with the team more and do things individually with each member. Will you do that for me?"

I nodded as she guided me to her door and I said, "See you next week."

I am walking to Rossi's office when I decided to visit Penelope. I knock on her door and she opens saying, "Well this is a surprise."

I smiled and said, "The therapist wants me to spend time with the team individually so I was wondering if you wanted to look at those photos you found yesterday if you want."

She smiled and said, "Yes, four eyes are better than two... well I have four eyes so it really six eyes and I a rambling, sit."

I sat down and she pulled up the photos and she asks me, "What type are we looking for so we can narrow it down."

"Um," I try to think back, "He wasn't Muslim so he was from somewhere else." 

That immediately took off about 30 men and about 15 were left. 

I look at the men and said, "He had brown hair..."

It took off 5 more people and I look at the ten and kept staring at them until I spotted the man. 

I pointed at his picture and said, "Him, that's the guy."

Penelope enlarged the picture and said, "Give me a minute to get info on this guy."

A minute later she said, "Samuel Omer..." and trailed off worried and I asked, "What's wrong?"

She then continued, "He was 16 in this photo but past away in 2004. He was married to Elanna Amad but she right now is terminally ill."

I asked Pen if she could pull up a photo of Elanna and when her photo was brought up she looked nothing like me. 

Pen asked, "Tell me again why this guy is so important."

I looked at her and said, "Because Samuel Omer was my father and by the looks of this Elanna is NOT my mother so, I may still have a chance to find my biological mother." 

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