Dear Marilyn (BoyxBoy)

The Dilemma

'Bailey - Well done in your portrayal of Peter. You managed to keep a common sense approach to your character the whole time. Peter was thoroughly believable as the older brother of the family. Don't be afraid of using the whole stage when you act. Sometimes, acting is a bit like playing football. Look for any open spaces and move into them. If the stage is getting crowded then let your character move away (keeping in character the whole time) and take the action with you. If someone else is in the wrong place on stage you might be able to help them get to the correct position by walking with them as you deliver your next line. As I said earlier, don't be afraid of using the stage. Use it and enjoy it.'

The reviews were in and it turns out I did a pretty good job of pretending to be Peter in The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe. I figured it wasn't exactly a stretch seeing as I actually was an older brother, so I just played myself! I was more pissed off at the fact they'd used playing football as an example to show me what I was doing wrong. The whole team came and watched me perform and when that review came out, it was blown up and put in our school changing room for all to see. I saw the funny side though and in the end thought it was hilarious. I was actually really grateful the team came and watched me, even though it wasn't their thing. I had a very strong idea that Malek may have had something to do with that though.

We'd been spending more and more time together under the guise of Music revision and from what I could tell, no one was suspicious. Not even Polly. She liked Malek and could see how much we got on, so she was happy to have a night with the girls, while I had a night with the boys. Only the boys wasn't the boys. It was one boy. Just me and him and although we did get revision done, the naked sleepovers were really what I came for. 

For someone so big and muscly, he was so tender when it came to handling me and it drove me wild. He pulled me in and held me tight, like he never wanted to let me go. We'd wake up each morning refreshed, after the best nights sleep and just get up and get on with the day as if this was completely normal. It wasn't normal, but it was normal to us. We hadn't kissed and we hadn't done anything else. We just slept and he just held me. 

I knew I had to tell Polly I was gay, but in my mind, nothing had happened with Malek, so I wasn't exactly cheating. If I needed to express myself, I just wrote it all down in my diary and Marilyn kept my secrets without ever judging me. For the first time in a long time, despite all this going on, I felt good and I had hope. 

It was now March and spring was finally in the air. The days were getting lighter for longer and the smell of freshly cut grass, returned once more. We sat in Music class looking out at the lambs that had just been born on the school farm and I was pleased that Mr. Baker was finally back and in fine form, after a mystery illness which was rumoured to be a breakdown. 

He'd paired up everyone in class for our next assignment and although I always go with Beth, for some reason he'd paired me and Malek up together. It was like the universe was doing everything she could to put us together, so we could spend as much time as possible with each other. I wasn't complaining. It was in fact this same twist of fate, that in turn caused a huge chain reaction of events, that would change my life forever. I didn't know it then, so at this moment in time I was still happy. That wouldn't last for long though.

'Aaargh, Bailey! I've got a huge dilemma!'

'What? What do you mean? What's wrong?' I literally had no idea where this was going.

'I fancy three people and I have no clue what to do!' 

OK now my ears were pricked up and I was hanging on his every word, but trying not to show it. That's harder then it sounds.

'OK. Well that's nice. What do you want me to do?'

'I want you to tell me your thoughts and what you would do.'

'OK. But be prepared. You know I'll be honest right?

'I do, which is why I'm asking you. I want you to be honest.'

'OK,'

'OK. Here goes. Well you know Kate, in the year above? She's been dropping huge hints on the school bus and to all of her friends, that she's in to me. She's so hot and I'd love a piece of that!'

'You are kidding me! She's a right spiteful bitch! She might be in to you Malek, but have you not heard how she treats other people? She's a nasty piece of work and a bully!' 

I was fuming! Kate! Out of the girls he could have picked and he picked her! I couldn't believe it!

'OK! Point taken. See this is why I asked you! I knew you wouldn't mince your words.'

I rolled my eyes to the ceiling.

'OK. Second person and I really don't know how you're going to feel about this.'

My stomach dropped. Who was he going to say? Polly?

'Beth. You know I've always fancied Beth. She's so kind and we have such a laugh! I know she's your best mate but I can't help but find her hot too.'

Nope not Polly. No, No, No! This was terrible news! I was silently gutted.

'OK. Well you're right. I'm not sure how I feel about that, so I'm going to let you carry on and I'll digest that in my own time.'

'I knew you'd say that, but I totally understand. OK. Third and final person. You ready?'

I held my breath and he noticed. Why did I feel like I was on X Factor right now? You know the bit where they say who's won the show? He looked deep in my eyes and smiled a smile that was only for me.

'Well, I think there's something between us. Don't you?'

I couldn't hold it in any longer, so the breath came out full force as if I was spitting a cup of tea everywhere and once more we were rolling around our seats laughing. Why did we always do this?

That carried on for the remainder of the lesson on and off. I think maybe due to nerves or giddiness, but to be honest I didn't know which one or even how that made me feel. All I knew for certain was that after listening to that conversation, I definitely needed a Beth and my mind was made up, that this weekend I'd go round hers and tell her everything. Little did I know that by doing that, our friendship would face the biggest test, it had ever known.