Wherever You Are ; muke [completed]

12*

TW: talk of self-harm

Two Months Later

"Why the fuck isn't this working?" Michael screamed at me, his throat swelling and his chest tightening. His head was a mess.

He was up on his feet, I was not. I remained on the couch, knees pulled in to my chest. "Please don't yell, Mikey. I don't like it when you yell."

"I try so hard, so fucking hard to keep you happy! And I can't, I just can't! Obviously I'm doing a shit job because you did this!" He pointed down at my arms, my cut-up, ugly arms.

"Me relapsing was not your fault, baby. So much has been going on, I just felt so worthless," I answered, tears threatening to spill. "I'm sorry I disappointed you, I disappointed everyone."

"Why didn't you call me? Why didn't you text me? I could've prevented this from happening again if you wouldn't shut me out all the damn time!"

I stood up too, staring him straight in the eye, the anger bubbling up inside of me. "It isn't easy, you know! It's not easy opening up to people especially about slitting my wrists to feel the pain I deserve!"

"You don't deserve the pain, Luke," Michael said calmly. "You deserve the world and the world deserves you."

"Stop, stop!" I yelled, throwing my hands in the air. "Why the fuck are you lying to me? Don't lie to me! Tell me what I want to hear, please!"

"And what do you want to hear?!"

"That I'm ugly and fat and worthless and that you're going to leave me."

"Fine, I'll tell you what you want to hear!" Michael wailed, tears cascading down his pretty cheeks. "You're so fucking ugly, so fat, so worthless! I'm leaving you, I'm leaving you! Is that what you wanted to hear?"

The world around me stopped for a second. Does he mean those things or is it really what I wanted to hear? "No! No, that isn't what I want to hear, no! Please don't leave me, fuck, please don't go!"

"This isn't going to work, Luke," He shook his head, wiping his falling tears. "I know I made you happy, but I don't anymore, and I can't anymore. I'm sorry."

"But I'm so in love with you... you fixed me! You're breaking me! I don't want to be broken again!"

"I'm sorry."

He left.

A/N

Merry Christmas. Have a safe and fun one.

Jordan x

Edited July 2019