I Choose You

Acid Rain

"When you fell from the sky

I felt that burning in my eyes

Drove me insane

I thought that you were holy water,

But you were just acid rain"

- Acid Rain by Thomston

<><><><><><>

As soon as I walked into my mother's home, the smell of pot roast was heavy in the air. I followed my nose to the kitchen, seeing my mother beginning to chop up several potatoes. 

Noticing my presence, my mother turned to look at me and then the clock on the stove. "You're two hours late." She shook her head disapprovingly.

Reaching the dish rack by the sink, I grabbed a cup. I was slow with my actions, delaying my response. "Yeah, sorry about that I lost track of time," I truthfully spoke. 

With Icarus time flew by as we made several tracks around the park. Though, that didn't dismiss the guilty feeling that had washed over me. I had told my mother I would be home at a certain time. I should have been more observant, I thought as I hated going against my word.

Putting her attention back on the potatoes, my mother sighed deeply. "Does you're father let you get away with these things?" 

I raised an eyebrow,  "What do you mean?"

"Last night you left the house. Without informing anyone about where you were going, might I add," Mother accused. "Then, you tried to go over to Maggy's at eleven-thirty at night, saying your father lets you.

"Now," she continued, "you act nonchalant being two hours late."  

I continued to watch my mother chop up the vegetables, weary of what she was getting at. "Dad does not let me get away with things," I said in an attempt to clear my father's name.

I tried to even think of something that I had done that my father 'let me get away with'. Nothing came to mind. I was a goody two-shoed. Doing something that went against anyone, let alone my parents felt wrong. It was not in my nature  . . . but, I could not deny her argument that I had gone against my word. 

Right when my lips opened for an apology to spill out, my mother spoke. "When you were growing up, your dad was was always the cool parent. I was the harsh one. Always punishing you and your brothers. Now that I am out of the house, you and your brother are without a firm parently figure." Shaking her head, my mother glanced over at me. "I just want you to be safe, Grace. I don't like to worry about you and your brothers.

"With that being said," my mother continued, "I am filing for full custody of you and Ryland."

"I am eighteen," I told her matter-of-factly, knowing I had rights as a legal adult. I did not want to live with her. It was just . . . easier living with my father. Granted, I knew I had not given my mother's place a shot but a large part of me did not want to even try. My relationship with my mother was too strained and the effort to fix any pieces of our relationship seemed futile. 

"While that may be true, Grace. You are still in High School. Your father and I pay for most of your bills. You're a dependent. I will feel much safer if you and Ryland were under my roof again."

Despite the fact that I already knew she was filing for full custody, anger began to boil inside me. "You want us under your roof so that you don't have to worry about us," I reworded what she had said as her words cycled through my mind on repeat.

"I don't get it, Mom," I argued. "You've been building your life here for months," I motioned around to show I was talking about her new house. "You never bothered to even call and talk to Ryland or me," I spoke, explaining my resentment towards her. "How would you know how we are if you don't even pick up the phone?"