I Choose You

Sweetest Devotion

Unedited

***

"With your loving, there ain't nothing
That I can't adore
The way I'm running, with you, honey
Is we can break every low
I find it funny that you're the only
One I never looked for
There is something in your loving
That tears down my walls"

- Adele "Sweetest Devotion" 

***

The second my mother and I exited The Maine Tearoom, she began to ask me a million and one questions. The aim for her inquiries was to catch up with me, however, the last thing I wanted to do after I got off work was to be quizzed about every detail of the past couple of days.

Silently, I thanked my father for never pestering me on our way home.

Breathing in the bitter cold winter air, I knew her questions were a sign that she cared for me and wanted to be up to date on my life. So, I swallowed my irritation as a sense of gratefulness came over me. "My history test was easy peasy," I informed her with a small friendly smile. "Thanks for asking . . . So, ummm, what about you . . . how have you been?" I asked as we reached her green Honda Accord. I had hoped she would take the limelight and talk about herself instead of me, for a while.

"Well, my work has been keeping me busy," She paused right before reaching out her left hand and clicking the car unlocked with her key fob. "Other than that I have been doing well, thank you for asking," Mother stated as she and I reached our sides of the car.

Once we were inside the freezing car, both of us buckles up. "I feel awful that Ryland couldn't come this weekend," My mother stated as she wasted no time cranking the heat up to its maximum setting. "Your dad said that Ryland was sick. Is he okay? Do you know exactly what is wrong?" 

Leaving no time to reply, my mother pulled out of the parking spot and continued talking, "I kept asking your father questions but he wouldn't tell me much, other than Ryland was complaining of not feeling well. Should we pick him up something, like soup?"

"I don't think they need anything. I'm sure Dad has gotten everything that Ryland needs or wants right now . . . Let's just head to your house," I suggested. It was clear to me that Ryland and my Dad had lied. Being sick was just Ryland's way of avoiding our mother this weekend. He wanted nothing to do with her and I was aware that it was because he blamed our mother for the divorce of our parents.

Part of me wanted to blame my mother, she seemed to have been the one driving a wedge in her marriage. However, I could tell that my parents had simply fallen out of love and Mother was just faster at moving on then Dad. And, Ryland resented her for that but for me, I was just salty about that situation.

What picked a nerve with me was how my mother treated Ryland and I. As her marriage fell apart, she had chosen to isolate herself from Ryland and I. I could still remember the way she practically ignored us in the last year of her marriage to our father.

"Oh, okay," my mother replied after a moment of hesitation. It was not just her slow voice but also in the way her face reflected pure worry.

I swallowed down a major portion of my guilt I felt. My mother seemed like she really did care about us, even though she could be a raging woman sometimes. My mouth parted to start up a new conversation when my phone vibrated. Reaching into my front pocket, I took out my cell and saw that it was Icarus, which immediately caused a wide goofy grin to find its way on my face.

Leaning back in my seat, I opened his text message.

Icarus:

Its official, you're being sued for joint custody of Turtle. This cat is chill af XD