I Choose You

Love Lies

Unedited

***

"So baby, tell me where your love lies
Waste the day and spend the night
Underneath the sunrise
Show me where your love lies"

- Khalid & Normani "Love Lies"

***

What's the worst that could happen?

Alexander's words cycled through my thoughts several times before my eyes shifted over to look back at him. A million answers were at the ready. There was no doubt in my mind, I knew where I would begin. The top of the list. "Well, for starters death," I explained in a solemn tone. "I can think of a multitude of ways that I could die at the bonfire. For example, what if a drunk person bumps me and I stumble, before tripping on a rock and falling into the fire. After all, I'm clumsy like that.

"Or," I continued painting the picture of why I was reluctant. "What if I get pressured into drinking? What if it's a tasty drink and I can't put it down? I could potentially get so drunk that I embarrass the hell out of myself. Of course, that's all before passing out and choking on my own vomit, causing me to die."

It was nearly impossible to decipher the expression written across Alexander's face. The cryptic look halted my rant. "What?" I asked in bewilderment of what he was thinking. Times like then I wished I could read minds. Especially his mind.

"That was all . . ." It took him a minute to search for the right word. "Morbid," His response caused my cheeks to become uncomfortably warm.

"You asked what was the worst that could happen and I started to give you some examples," I truthfully spoke. "I have less morbid ideas of what could happen but death is really the front-runner."

Alexander shook his head but said nothing else.

The natural sounds of the park were all that I could hear, as Alexander remained focused on the path ahead. The silence grew between us, which gave room for my anxiety to take root. I began to wonder if I had said the wrong thing.

He probably thought I was a freak and straight-up weird. It would not have surprised me if he was having second thoughts about being my friend. The fact that I was only left with guesses of what he was thinking, scared the hell out of me.

As the silence bloomed, I became unnerved at the reality of Alexander and I. Sooner or later he will stop talking to me. It was destined to happen, one way or another, and I could predict that from a mile away.

A guy like Alexander and a girl like me were not meant to become friends. Despite the negative outcome I knew was bound, I kept placing one foot in front of the other and doing my best to keep pace with Alexander on the path.

"Why do you wanna be my friend?" The question spilled out of my mouth without warning. My eyes settled on the dirt trail that was swiftly moving beneath me.

Placing my freezing hands on my cheeks, I found relief from the burning sensation that had suddenly occurred.

Just a hair above a whisper, Alexander spoke, "I thought we discussed this last night." His tone sounded slightly annoyed.

My stomach flipped in nervousness.

Click.

I turned my head to the side to see that Alexander was lighting up one of his cigarettes.

"I like your company," he replied with the cigarette lit and dangling between his lips at an angle. His grey eyes were focused intently on the path before us. I couldn't look away. Alexander deeply inhaled, causing the cigarette amber to brighten. He released the smoke, blowing it in my direction.